Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Right around Christmas I usually find a story that exemplifies the spirit of the season. One year was the story of a man who smashed in a car window with his frozen Christmas turkey. Another year was the story of an assault and battery that occurred after somebody cut in line at a Wal-Mart two days before Christmas.

I was starting to get nervous that I would not find the right kind of story for this holiday season, but then I saw this one from Skaneateles, New York.

The central New York school district, fed up with sexy hip-grinding and pelvic thrusts on the dance floor, has canceled its annual Snow Ball this winter.

Skaneateles High School had tried several things to stop students from dancing in an overtly sexual style at school dances. Gym teachers taught the waltz, tango, and cha-cha. The district switched disc jockeys. The homecoming dance was moved to a larger space, the gymnasium, to give kids more room to spread out.

The grinding and inappropriate clothing continued. So the district axed the whole dance.

The next step is to outlaw dancing altogether, that is until a rebellious boy from the city moves to town and starts dating the daughter of the town's reverend and convinces the town council that dancing is not a tool of the devil.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- N.J. cop arrested for DWI after DWI class --*
MIDLAND PARK, N.J. - A Midland Park, N.J., police officer was arrested for drunken driving after consuming alcohol during a state police class on DWI arrests, authorities say. During the Thursday class taught by the New Jersey State Police, Midland Park police officer Joseph B. Gaeta was given measured amounts of alcohol to test its effect on his physical abilities, the Midland Park Suburban News reported. After the class, Gaeta was driven home by another officer, Wyckoff police Chief Benjamin Fox said. Once home, Gaeta, 31, got on his four-wheel all-terrain vehicle and began driving on a residential street, which authorities said is illegal. Gaeta was attempting to make a turn when he lost control of the ATV and flipped it. Fox said Gaeta sustained serious facial injures for which he was hospitalized. He had surgery Saturday. Gaeta, who had a blood-alcohol level of 0.13 percent, was charged with driving while intoxicated and given several other citations related to the illegal operation of an all-terrain vehicle. "I've honestly never run across a situation like this in 43 years," said Midland Park police Chief John Casson. "I'm not sure at what point his status [with the department] could change."

*-- Thieves steal from suspected shoplifters --*
OGDEN, Utah - Two people cited for allegedly shoplifting in Ogden, Utah, in turn discovered just minutes later they were victims of theft, police said. Korin Vanhouten, 47 and Eldon Alexander, 36, were stopped shortly after leaving a WinCo by a police officer who suspected they left without paying for cotton swabs, makeup and batteries, the Ogden Standard-Examiner reported Friday. The officer cited them for shoplifting. When the pair returned to Alexander's pickup truck in the store's parking lot, they noticed someone had entered the unlocked truck and stole a stereo amplifier, a drum machine and cigarettes. Police Lt. Tony Fox said he had never seen anything like it in his entire career. The items the two were suspected of shoplifting were worth $26, while the worth of their stolen possessions was about $60, Fox estimated. Police were investigating.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, At 60 I can look at the saggy-pants boys and laugh the same as I look at their detractors and laugh. I remember adults telling me I "look like a damned queer" in the 60s with my long hair. It's a Fashion and fashion HAS to change regularly. If kids don't rebel against the adults occasionally society stagnates. If you're shocked or disgusted, they've done their job. -Don
[Next year it will be thong underwear and ass-less chaps. That'll be guaranteed to disgust me.]

What you fail to see lewis is that "free belt" has a LOT of different meanings. Only one of them is sellable on ebay. I suppose two if you don't swallow.
[I don't think even a private, much less a public school would actually 'belt' their students. Although I'm sure plenty of them deserve it.]

Lewis..About the guy whose ex-girlfriend using a deer head to "get even".... I don't know why she got arrested... she was just a little horny! -BB
[I think those are called antlers.]

Hey Lewis, My ex-girlfriend gave me a copy of the Kama Sutra for a Christmas gift â?? it put me in an awkward position. â??Andrew.

Lewis, I have four daughters ranging from 8 to 15 years old. They have been warned. Any boy that comes near my house with sagging pants will get one of four options of my choosing. I have glue, a staple gun, a power nailer and a welding torch. I know the welding won't actually work, but it should scare the crap out of them, and then there should be nothing left. Problem solved. -Dave
[Just wait until they start showing up in ass-less chaps!]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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