Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

God bless America! Where else could you pull off something like this? Poor, little Lennox Little League of Los Angeles was about to dissolve. Some 300 children who take part in the league were not going to be able to compete because of rising costs and declining revenue.

Then in stepped an unlikely benefactor. Perhaps not unlikely, but under-appreciated. Lennox Little League was given a $1,200 donation from the Jet Strip gentleman's club.

Yes, a strip club.

And the donation came with no strings attached (G or otherwise). The little league didn't have to advertise on their uniforms. There were no "Line Drives for Lap Dances" or "Homers for Hooters" promotions. Just tax-free cash to keep the little sluggers' mitts wrapped around their wood.

That is until the blood (or at least ink) thirsty media got their paws on the story.

Once it broke on several news outlets including Associated Press, the league decided that it was inappropriate to accept. Without the $1,200, Lennox Little League is again in severe jeopardy of being unable to run a 2012 season.

And all this negative attention is probably not deserved, either. Jet Strip has repeatedly donated to the Lennox Coordinating Council before, which then redistributed donated funds to other community projects. The gentleman's club just doesn't get the credit for the donation.

Now where is the justice in that?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Woman falls down trash chute --*
DUNWOODY, Ga. - Emergency responders in Georgia said they rescued a woman who fell down her apartment's garbage chute while trying to retrieve her dropped cellphone. Dunwoody police said rescue crews responded to the Gables Metropolitan apartments Sunday when the woman fell while trying to reach down the chute for her phone and ended up stuck between the first and second floors of the building, WSB-TV, Atlanta, reported Monday. DeKalb County Fire Department rescuers said they moved the building's trash compacter, which was blocking the woman from falling the rest of the way down the chute, and retrieved her before she hit the ground. The woman was taken to a local hospital for treatment.

*-- Fortune teller sentenced to prison --*
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - A Florida fortune-teller has drawn a 15-month prison sentence for her part in a fraud scheme that tricked victims out of more than $2 million. Olivia Evans, 22, of Hollywood, Fla., was handed a sentence of one year and three months in federal prison and ordered to pay restitution of more than $402,700, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported. Evans' two sisters are already serving prison terms along with their mother. Her sentencing was delayed so she could give birth to her second child. She pleaded guilty in September to federal charges of mail and wire fraud. Evans' attorney, Richard Merlino, asked for leniency, saying she was adopted into the Romany gypsy culture and did not choose that way of life. "At the age of 5, she was taught by her adoptive mother the art of psychic mysticism," Merlino told the court.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, Maybe the guy who cut off his girlfriend's lover's penis should have kept it and used it, because, obviously, his wasn't taking care of business. -Wes
[If he gets convicted he's probably going to get plenty of opportunity to handle other guys' equipment. Of course, it is France...so who knows what they do in prisons over there. Maybe it's more civilized.]

Men generally die at a younger age then women because their testosterone drives them to do stupid things. (re: buried alive) -Andrea
[And if they don't, estrogen drives them to an early grave after they're married.]

Lewis, You've just provided your readers with a new set of nicknames for their privates. Think of all the double entendres at the breakfast table. I won't be able to visit the bakery with a straight face for weeks. Although I'd have to say for most men, baguette is being generous. I really enjoy the ezine, it makes my day brighter. Thanks.

while at LSU, painters did the reserved space markers for administration. Problem was that they spelled it REDSREVED.
[Dyslexia is a chitb.]

Hello Lewis: In the real world here in the US, in swimming pools, bacteria is taken care of by chlorine added directly to the pool's water, which has been done for as long as I can remember. So if someone pees in he pool, be it a kid or an adult, or worse, the chlorine takes care of it. So what's the problem in England about the guy's swimming apparel? -Jay
[Maybe they were afraid he'd shit in them.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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