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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:


Long-time readers of Bizarre News are probably familiar with one of my favorite stories, the one about the firearms instructor who shot himself while demonstrating firearm safety to a class...on camera. Today's story is almost as good.

A Lodi, California SWAT officer was shot by a 6-year-old while showing off SWAT vehicles and gear at a children's reading event.

Without going into what a SWAT truck, bullet-proof body armor and assault weapons were doing at a "Reading Roundup," the fact is that the officer had his Glock 35 strapped to his hip, loaded and ready to fire, when the child walked up to him and grabbed at the weapon.

"It doesn't have an external safety or anything like that," said Lt. Sierra Brucia with the department. "The gun functioned how it was supposed to. When the trigger was pulled, the gun went off."

The bullet hit the officer's leg. He was taken to the hospital for a minor injury and released.

Officers want to find the child and his parents to piece together what went wrong.

"Hopefully, speaking to the child and the child's parents to find out how they were able to get access to the officer's gun, what the child's intent may have been--we don't know if it was accidental or unintentional."

Sounds like a domestic terrorist attack to me. Clearly that 6-year-old is interested in destabilizing the community fabric by attacking local law enforcement. I wonder if they'll water board him?

Bizarrely,
Lewis


Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


* Oregon girl told she's 'too big' to shop in store *

EUGENE, Ore. - An Oregon girl was told by an employee of Rue 21, a youth clothing retailer, she was "too big" to shop in one of their stores, her family said. Shelby Buster and a friend went to a mall in Eugene, Ore., to spend Buster's birthday money. She said it was the first time she'd gone shopping without her mother, who stayed in the food court while the girls shopped. After Buster's friend entered the store, she followed but was stopped by an employee who told her she had to leave, she said. "I walked in and the lady at the front counter said, 'Hey you're too big to be in this store, I need you to leave,'" Buster said. She and her friend went and got Buster's mother, who returned to the store with the girls, and asked to speak with a manager, KEZI-TV, Eugene, reported Sunday. "[We] walked back and my mom came back to talk to them and they're like 'oh we're so sorry,'" Buster said. The family told KEZI they've contacted corporate headquarters for Rue 21 about the incident but have yet to hear back. A store manager said they're reviewing security footage to determine what happened. The chain told the TV station it doesn't tolerate discrimination of any kind. "Seriously that's disrespectful and rude. Just because I'm bigger than you guys are, I'm not a 14 or smaller. It makes no sense why they would do that," Buster said.


*-- Naked man shatters windshield with his buttocks --*

CHICAGO - A Chicago motorist said the man who used his buttocks to shatter his windshield was "naked as the day he was born." Tom Carideo said he was driving to pick up his young children around 8:10 p.m. near the North Coast Music Festival at Union Park when he spotted the naked man running around, the Chicago Tribune reported Monday. "This guy was literally running in circles naked as the day he was born," Carideo said. "Then he looks at my car and goes into a full-out sprint and jumps, landing ass first on the right side of my windshield and shatters it." Carideo said he armed himself with a hockey stick from his car in case the man attacked him and he called 911. He told the dispatcher the naked man had smashed his windshield and was bleeding from his buttocks. Carideo said he stayed on the line with dispatchers and followed the man in his car. He said the naked man danced in the middle of an intersection before drinking the water from a puddle in the street. Carideo said police had to use a stun gun on the man at least once to subdue him. Police said the man, Sam Schauer, 22, of Auburndale, Mass., was charged with reckless damage to property, resisting/obstructing police, reckless conduct, aggravated assault and public indecency. He is due to appear in court Sept. 27. Police said they suspect Schauer was under the influence of a hallucinogenic substance at the time of his arrest.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*

OMG on the kidney being throw out, I had to have one removed, worse thing to go through in my life even over child birth. But the hospital should think about the fact that the other kidney could have saved another person's life. I don't know the stats but I know there are very long waiting lists, its not like you can buy a kidney at the grocery store. -Teri
[You can, but you usually have to ask for it at the butcher's counter.]

Hey Lewis. I really hate the a-holes who try to take the fun out of our favorite eateries by reminding us that Olive Garden isn't authentic Italian, Taco Bell isn't authentic Mexican or local Chinese restaurants aren't authentic Chinese food. Hey, dude! If we enjoy the food at these places we don't care about pompous jerks telling us they're not authentic. Okay? --R.S.
[Hate to ruin it for you, but the Burger King isn't real royalty either. Enjoy your monosodium glutamate.]

Having received a kidney transplanted from my son, this story is so abhorrent: I can only imagine what they felt. Giving up a kidney is a major risk: now her brother has lost a kidney, and no one has benefited. Wish I could be on that jury: I'd be awarding big amounts from the lawsuit--the nurses involved should have their licenses revoked. -Michelle
[I don't see how the hospital will ever get this one dismissed.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*

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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS