Saturday, December 15, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You've heard of a "drug mule" right? Well, I think this story is going to force us to come up with some new terms.

Spanish authorities say they have arrested a Panamanian woman arriving at Barcelona airport with approximately 3 pounds of cocaine concealed in her breast implants.

The Interior Ministry said that border police noticed fresh scars and blood-stained gauze on her chest as well as pale patches beneath her skin.

The woman said she had recently had breast implant surgery. The statement said police were suspicious and sent her to a local hospital where the implants were removed and found to contain cocaine.

The woman arrived in Spain from Bogota, Colombia. European authorities routinely submit passengers arriving from Latin America to stringent checks to combat drug smuggling.

Kind of makes the pat-down we get from TSA seem like an affectionate gesture compared to the surgical procedures they get in Spain.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Man kicked out for resembling Jesus --*
DONCASTER, England- A spectator was removed from the crowd at a darts tournament in Britain when his resemblance to Jesus caused the crowd to chant toward him. "Stand up if you love Jesus," the crowd chanted. The Professional Darts Corporat ion said Nathan Grindal, 33, was escorted to another part of the venue to watch the match between Phil "The Power" Taylor and Belgian opponent Kim Huybrechts when members of the 4,500-strong crowd at the Cash Converters Players Championship in Doncaster, England, began their chant, The Mirror reported Thursday. Grindal said he did not find the incident amusing. "It was distressing. I was emotionally distraught. The crowd were bullying me and picking on me. It would have been OK if security hadn't made a fuss getting me out," he said. "In his post-match interview, Phil Taylor said something like, 'If I ever see Jesus again, I'll crucify him myself.' Now that's just hurtful." Kim Huybrechts, who lost the match, signed Grindal's program after the incident. "To Jesus. Hard luck mate," he wrote. A spokesman for the Professional Darts Corporation said officials worried the chants would be distracting to the players.


*-- Real-life 'Maneater' when Oates bites Hall --*
BERLIN, Ohio - Police in Ohio said an incident resembled the 1982 hit song "Maneater" when a man named Oates allegedly bit his neighbor, a man named Hall. Erie County sheriff's deputies said they responded Sunday to the Berlin home of Scott Hall, who told them he had been bitten just above his right eye by his neighbor, Roger Oates, 48, ABC News reported Thursday. "It was apparent [Hall] had been assaulted as he had a significant injury above his left eye," the incident report reads. "There was a significant cut to his left eyebrow region in the shape of a bite." Deputies said Oates allegedly attacked Hall for refusing to testify on his behalf in a case involving a charge of supplying alcohol to minors. The arrest report said Oates was still at the home when deputies arrived and they had to use a Taser to subdue him. Oates was charged with felony assault and resisting arrest. The incident evoked 1982 rock hit "Maneater" by Daryl Hall and John Oates.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
This fool who threw unopened cans of beer at the people in the wedding party should also be charged with wasting perfectly good beer!
[Maybe it was Schlitz or Coors Lite, in which case you couldn't qualify it as perfectly good. Or even good.]

I guess she would have to put dog gone on her conviction? -Chas
[I'm sure the interrogation was dogged.]

Lewis, you left out the most bizarre holiday of all: Christmas. Christ was not born on Dec 25th, He was born in the summer. Dec 25th was originally a pagan holiday celebrating the winter solstice. -Chris
[Ah ha...but on the other side of the world December is a summer month.]

I don't mind admitting to it Lewis as you used only my first name. Only 60,000 readers? So pray tell me how my identity would be known in a nation of 130,000,000? -Jack again
[I have met a couple of random people before who have been subscribers to Bizarre News. And the U.S. has a population of 300,000,000.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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