Saturday, October 26, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It's hard to tell if this story is real. Personally I believe it is half real. It seems Earl Ray Jones of Teller County, Colorado tossed a small fortune in gold into a trash bin. Why? To keep it out of the hands of his wife who he is in the middle of a divorce with.

Jones claims he converted $500,000 in life savings into gold in May and then threw it away - all to prevent his wife of 25 years from seeing a nickel in their pending divorce.

"Damn right I did," the 52-year-old former defense contractor said at a deposition by the woman's divorce attorney. In his sworn interview, Jones said he consigned the treasure to a Dumpster behind a Colorado Springs motel.

Bank records supplied by Jones prove that the money was converted to gold through a Phoenix, Ariz. precious metals dealer, lending credence to the hard-to-swallow tale.

Whether the gold was actually tossed has yet to be established.

"We say that when people are divorcing, they enter a state of temporary insanity," the attorney said. "But on a scale of 1 to 10, this is my 10."

I don't care how much you hate your soon-to-be-ex-wife, you don't throw $500,000 worth of gold into a dumpster. What you do is throw it in a safe deposit box. A safe deposit box under someone else's name perhaps.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Hunter in Norway misses moose, hits man in toilet --*
OSLO, Norway - A hunter's shot meant for a moose instead lodged in the abdomen of a 70-year-old man in the bathroom of his home in Whales, Norway, Thursday, police said. The man was transported to Ulleval University Hospital in Oslo by an air ambulance and was listed in serious condition, Norwegian broadcaster NRK reported. The shot was fired by a hunter about 100 yards from the cottage on Vesteroy island, police said. NRK said the victim's wife wasn't holding a grudge against the hunter who accidentally shot her husband. Police Chief Anders Saether said he suspected the hunter didn't really notice his surroundings before shooting. Police said it was too soon to know whether any action would be taken against the hunter.


*-- Woman who can't wear shoes told benefits will stop --*
ECCLES, England - A British woman whose allergies prevent her from wearing shoes said officials have decided to stop paying her benefits. Tracy Kenny, 45, of Eccles, England, said she had to quit her factory job 20 years ago when she developed contact dermatitis, which causes her hands and feet to break out in blisters if they come into contact with rubber, glue, nickel and metal, The Daily Mirror reported Thursday. Kenny said she has to wear special gloves just to handle forks and knives. She said she is unable to wear shoes and had to use a mobility scooter if she wants to leave the house. However, she said officials have declared her fit to work and told her she will no longer receive $177 per week in benefits. "How can I go to work, or go to job interviews, with no shoes on?" Kenny said. "I just don't know what to do. I can only wear shoes for 10 or 15 minutes, before my feet blister and split. Socks draw the glue in and slippers don't help. It's so unfair and stressful -- I'm genuinely ill. Sick people are suffering because the government want more money."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Did someone at Dollar General actually call the cops because of a squirrel? I would have purchased a live trap though others might have contacted an exterminator. The live trap is a good deal, although if the manager felt the squirrel was better off dead, he/she could have purchased something like a rat trap. -Jay
[Nope. The cop just happened to be there. Bad luck for the squirrel. Good luck for Bizarre News.]

Hope that policeman that used pepper spray and then shot a squirrel in a store had his gun privalidges taken away too. Doesn't seem to have the sense needed to know when it is right to use the gun. By the way. My stance is that you eat what you kill. Did he take the squirrel home for dinner? That stance would certainly stop murder if it was a requirement, or would it? -catt
[If he did it would have been pre-seasoned with a nice peppery flavor.]

Re: the story of Shadae Scott whose boyfriend allegedly "walked into her knife" several times (yeah, right!), I wonder how the dog was surviving after eating marijuana. I'm sure that was a funny sight for the police when they showed up. (The dog, not the boyfriend). -Mark

The states that have open and concealed carry fire arms have less crime than you do east of the Big Muddy. As far as that goes the biggest towns with the HIGHEST gun problems are the ones that have the dumbest gun LAWS. OH, SAY LIKE LA, CHICAGO, WASHINGTON DC. A Firearm is just a tool. Knifes kill more people in this country than Guns do. Hell, the BIGGEST killing implement in the country is a BASEBALL BAT.
[You had me up until baseball bat. Sorry, the handgun is the biggest killer.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS