Saturday, September 17, 2011
Greetings fellow Bizarros:"I'm horrified, I'm absolutely, I can't even put in to words, I can't imagine anybody thinking of doing that," said a family who apparently never saw the 1989 ode to necrophilia, Weekend at Bernie's.
What she was horrified at were the actions of two friends who took her brother out bar hopping in Denver. The only problem is that her brother was dead at the time.
When Robert Young came home and found his roommate, 43-year-old Jeffrey, dead, he did what any good friend would do, he called a mutual friend, Mark Rubinson, and they loaded the body into a car for a last hurrah.
They hit two bars, one in Denver then another one in Aurora, before finally taking Jarrett home. And, of course, they took $400 out of Jeffrey's account to pay for it. I mean, it's not like he needed the money.
Rubinson and Young face charges of abusing a corpse (which apparently happens often enough to be its own category of crime), identity theft and criminal impersonation. The cause of Jeffrey's death is still being investigated, but we can be pretty sure it wasn't loneliness.
Bizarrely,
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MyBizarreNews*-- Woman has 20 feet of nails on each hand --*NEW YORK - A Las Vegas woman who has been growing her fingernails out for 18 years was certified as a Guinness World Record holder in New York. Chris "The Dutchess" Walton, 45, who has nearly 20 feet of fingernails on each hand, said during her visit to New York she started growing her nails out 18 years ago and never got around to cutting them, the New York Daily News reported Thursday. "I'm pretty sure one day I will cut them, but I can't see it in my head because I'm so used to having them," Walton said. "It's like a leg, I wouldn't just chop it off so it's gonna take some thinking." Guinness said Walton will appear in the 2012 Book of World Records for having the world's longest nails. The previous record holder, Lee Redmond, lost her 28 feet of nails in a 2009 car crash, Guinness said.
*-- Drunk elk walks off with swing set --*STOREBRO, Sweden - Authorities in Sweden said an elk got drunk from eating fermented apples and walked off with a family's backyard swing set. A Storebro homeowner told police he arrived home Wednesday to discover bits of apple littering his garden and his children's backyard swingset missing, the Swedish news agency TT reported Thursday. Police suspected an inebriated elk, a common site in Sweden when the apples begin to ferment, to be behind the incident and called a local hunter to track the animal. The hunter and police were unable to track down the elk, but the swingset was found propped against a tree in the woods.
*-- READER COMMENTS --*Arresting the man who was the victim in a domestic dispute doesn't surprise me. Many police departments have rules that if domestic violence is reported they are required to arrest the man to ensure that the women is safe. There are studies all of the time that show women tend to start violence in relationships more than men. Women are also far more likely to pick up a weapon to even the odds. The feminist version of domestic violence is the man is always at fault. Then again feminism is all about blaming men for everything isn't it? -John
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Men usually are at fault for doing stupid things, and it's usually women who make us do them.]
Ms. Smith has her monster legends mixed up. Vampires don't bite people's skin off, WEREWOVES do. -Dawn
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And it's best when it's deep fried and crispy with a little salt. No, wait...that's pork rinds.]
Only in America where a fat ass can sue for not being able to sit. What's next? The airlines, amusement parks and movies theaters. Come on America. If you can't sit your fat ass down to eat a hamburger do you really need that burger? Maybe Michelle O. should have a word with this guy. -Teddy
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It's odd. I read a story recently about how a record number of children in the United States are malnourished, and yet obesity is supposedly on the rise. Seems contradictory, doesn't it?]
We had some other stupid criminals in Wichita. There was the one who pulled a stickup with a Spider Man jacket over his head--he was still wearing it when he was arrested. Then there was the bank robber who was changing the flat tire on his getaway car when Police arrived. -PHIL
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A flat never happens at a convenient time, does it?]
*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*Let Lewis take you on an
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