Bizarre News - April 9, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I have heard of a 'Big Mac Attack' but what happened at a St. Petersburg, Florida McDonald's recently is ridiculous.

Closed circuit television caught the entire ordeal as a woman, naked but for a pair of thong panties (and flip flops), entered the McDonald's and began screaming and trashing the place; pushing equipment off the countertop and eventually walking behind the counter.

Employees didn't raise a finger to stop her, but you can hear them making a running commentary as some of them watch the action from the safety of the manager's office.

At one point she sticks her mouth under the soft serve ice cream dispenser to take advantage of a free snack. When that doesn't work quite as well as she hoped she simply grabs a cone and makes herself an ice cream, leaning casually against the machine for a moment while she enjoys it.

After that she walks out of camera view and we can only guess what kind of mayhem she caused in the food prep area.

While she almost certainly ended up in police custody, she can at least claim her 15 minutes of Internet fame, and to her credit she does have a nice pair of breasts.

The story does not detail what might have motivated the woman to go on her naked rampage, but if I can quote Rick James by way of speculation, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- New Jersey teen suspended from school for twirling pencil like a gun --*
VERNON, N.J. (UPI) - A New Jersey teen was suspended from his middle school for doing something with his pencil other than taking notes. Seventh-grader Ethan Chaplin, a student at Glen Meadow Middle School, claims he was suspended for twirling his pencil during math class. "He's making gun motions, send him to juvie," another student reportedly yelled during class. The school ordered Chaplin to undergo a physical and psychological evaluation and suspended him. "I'm absolutely livid," his father, Michael Chaplin, told News 12. "I think it's gross misconduct at its finest. They took something so minimal and took it so far over the edge." Michael told Infowars about what Ethan went through during the five-hour evaluation. "The child was stripped, had to give blood samples (which caused him to pass out) and urine samples for of all things drug testing," Michael said. "Then four hours later a social worker spoke to him for five minutes and cleared him. Then an actual doctor came in and said the state was 100 percent incorrect in their procedure and this would not get him back in school." According to Vernon Schools Superintendent Charles Maranzano, he was just following school policy. "We never know what's percolating in the minds of children," Maranzano said. "And when they demonstrate behaviors that raise red flags, we must do our duty." Ethan still doesn't know when he will be allowed to return to school.


*-- Long Island nursing home sued for hiring male strippers --*
WEST BABYLON, N.Y. (UPI) - A Long Island nursing home is likely going to be sued after allegedly hiring a male stripper to entertain its elderly residents during a party in the recreational room. During a visit to the East Neck Nursing Center in West Babylon, the son of 85-year-old Bernice Youngblood discovered a photo that appears to show the woman slipping money into a male stripper's briefs. "Plaintiff Bernice Youngblood was placed in apprehension of imminent, offensive, physical harm, as she was confused and bewildered as to why a muscular, almost nude man, was approaching her and placing his body and limbs, over [her]," according to the suit. The suit alleges that when the son, Franklin Youngblood, confronted a staff member about the photo, "the staffer lunged at him and tried to snatch the picture away." "Bernice Youngblood has lived 85 years as a traditional Baptist, hard-working, lady... And now she has been defiled," attorney John Ray told the New York Post. According to the lawsuit, the striptease was done "for the perverse pleasure and enjoyment of the Defendant's staff."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, about the someone defecating on the slide....Does this mean it is now officially called a poop chute now? -Steve

You forgot to mention the well the lady fell into after having sex was a Wishing well. The man, not being satisfied, made a wish to get rid of the lousy lay. Looks like it worked.

Regarding the weirdo who is pooping on the playground equipment, I have witnessed similar incidences back in the day when I worked for the parks dept. I remember one incident when the poor guy who was assigned to clean the public restrooms went to unlock the door of the men's room and when he grabbed the handle to open the door it was smeared with poop. Another time I found a used sanitary napkin taped to the wall with the words "Bloody Mary" written underneath it when I went to clean the ladies room. I could go on with some of the disgusting things that I saw but it would take up too much space. When you deal with the public, there are some real pigs out there. -Ralph

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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