Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Mark Lucas Thompson of Alum Creek, West Virginia was charged with animal cruelty and petit larceny in an incident involving his neighbor's pygmy goat.

Police arrested Thompson in May of last year after neighbors found him in his room standing next to the dead goat and dressed in women's clothing. It was determined that he was high on bath salts when he 'kid' napped the goat and allegedly sexually assaulted it.

However Circuit Court Judge James Stucky recently ruled that Thompson will not be held criminally responsible for the incident. The decision came after several mental evaluations. Thompson will instead get six months of treatment at a mental hospital.

Maybe it was the dress that really weighed the decision.

Almost heaven, West Virginia. Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River...

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Vandals write 'bicth' on SUV --*
YORK CITY, Pa. - Police in Pennsylvania said vandalism found spray-painted on a woman's sport utility vehicle included the misspelled word "bicth." York City police said the woman reported Saturday morning someone had used white paint to write the word, as well as the letters "LK," a picture of a crown and an indistinguishable design, on her 2004 Chevrolet Tahoe while it was parked at her home overnight, The York (Pa.) Dispatch reported Monday. Investigators said a motorcycle was also stolen from the woman's home and was later found abandoned in Spring Garden Township.


*-- Woman, 102, dotes on 82-year-old car --*
CANTON, Ohio - A 102-year-old woman who brought her 1930 Packard 740 Roadster to an Ohio car show said she still changes her own oil and spark plugs. Margaret Dunning of Plymouth, Mich., said at the 18th annual Glenmoor Gathering of Significant Automobiles at Glenmoor Country Club in Canton the car was in rough shape when she bought it in 1949 but it has since been restored with four upholstery jobs and 22 coats of hand-rubbed lacquer, the Akron (Ohio) Beacon Journal reported Monday. Dunning said she still often finds herself crawling under the car, which was the first vehicle to ever receive a 100-point score by the Classic Car Club of America, with a funnel and an oil pan. "I love the old cars," she said. "I love the smell of gasoline. It runs in my veins." "The lines of a Packard car are very artistic as far as I'm concerned. My family drove Packards, and I was very proud of the fact. I guess I got indoctrinated," she said. Dunning, who has been driving since she was 8 years old and was about 20 when her Packard rolled off the assembly line, said motoring in her everyday car, a 2003 Cadillac, sometimes gets her in trouble for speeding. "I have lead in my feet," she quipped. "It disturbs the policemen very badly, but it doesn't bother me at all."

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
That has to be the coldest thing I've ever heard about! That robber will forever tell himself, "Hey, it wasn't my problem that he got run over by the train; he's the one who fell. I just salvaged those things he wouldn't need anymore!" I've been to Sweden, and altho the people aren't the friendliest folks, the ones I saw or met weren't so cold-hearted as to rob someone in those circumstances. Sigh.
[That's quite a rationalization you have made there. Are you sure you have never been in that situation before? Maybe come out one wrist watch ahead or something?]

Since the subject of voting came up, I though I would relate George Carlin's position on the issue. I have adopted it. It goes something like, "When it is time to vote, I go jerk off. At the end of the day at least I have something to show for it." All I can add is AMEN. j.m.
[Poetically appropriate since that is usually what you get from politicians.]

"A robbery victim returning home after a drunken night on the town fell down on the tracks at subway station south of Stockholm." Are you saying he was robbed twice in one night, that he was already a robbery victim when he was returning home and was robbed again on the tracks?
[Aren't we all victims? At least according to Mitt Romney?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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