Saturday, July 27, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

We have all been there (well, most of us, anyway), after a few too many drinks we decide we are going to do something we regret later. Usually it is something juvenile and stupid. But every now and then something life-threateningly stupid is attempted, like the stunt pulled off by this man.

John Morillo wanted to prove he could swim across the Detroit River from Canada to the U.S. after a night of drinking.

"I was drinking, but I wasn't really drunk," Morillo, 47, of Windsor, said. "The thing is, I've been telling people I'm going to swim across the river for years and they're like 'yah, yah, blah, blah, you can't make it.' So, I don't know, last night I just decided it was the time to go."

Morillo said he regrets causing problems for authorities, including Windsor police and Coast Guard crews from the U.S. and Canada. Three boats and a helicopter responded.

"As soon I saw the helicopters going by and the boats looking for me, I was like 'oh, this is really stupid,'" Morillo said.

The incredible thing is, Morillo actually made it across to Detroit, getting out of the water near downtown's Renaissance Center. He was swimming back when he was found by the U.S. Coast Guard. During his stop on the Detroit side of the river he said people wanted to take his picture.

He will likely be fined for swimming in a shipping channel, which could be $5,000 to $25,000.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- 112-year-old New York state man declared world's oldest --*
GRAND ISLAND, N.Y. - Guinness World Records announced a 112-year-old New York state man, Salustiano Sanchez Blazquez, is the oldest man in the world. Guinness said Blazquez, of Grand Island, who was born June 8, 1901, in Spain, became the world's oldest man following the death of Jiroemon Kimura of Japan, who died June 12 at age 116. Misao Okawa, 115, of Japan, is currently the overall world's oldest living person. Guinness said Blazquez told officials he "does not feel he has accomplished anything special because he happens to be living longer than other men." Blazquez -- who enjoys gardening, crossword puzzles and nightly gin rummy games -- attributed his longevity to a daily routine that includes eating a banana and an Anacin.


*- Some residents disapprove of urinating statue -*
OREBRO, Sweden - Some residents of a Swedish town said they are not amused by a 26-foot-tall sculpture of a male figure urinating into a river. The "Bad Bad Boy" sculpture, by Finnish artist Tommi Toija, was installed as part of the Orebro Open Art exhibition on the bank of the River Svartan, The Local.se reported Thursday. A 34-year-old resident who gave her name as Anna said she "really hates" the sculpture and finds its nudity and urination "provocative." However, another resident, Ebba, 62, said she was slightly amused by the work. "I think it's interesting," she said. "But I am happy it is not here forever." Toijas said there is no correct way to interpret his sculpture. "For me, it's just a guy peeing in the river, no more, no less. Some might see it as a funny thing, others might be provoked," he said. The sculpture is scheduled to be in place until Sept. 1.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Now that his 1st grandchild is born, can we refer to Prince Charles as the royal boompa?
[Knock yourself out. I don't think he cares.]

A stripper in the right area who knows what she is doing could easily make 2-3 thousand a night if not more and with out prostituting herself. In California I am sure she was working her ass off, but she could have easily saved a million dollars.
[It has been a loooong time since I have been in a strip club, but I don't recall ever tipping a stripper more than five bucks. But I suppose there are more generous patrons out there than me. Even so, 2 or 3 thousand in a night seems pretty optimistic (without prostituting one's self).]

Store front Elvis Memorabilia near his home? This person obviously has NOT been to Graceland. Let me be the first to invite you. As for you Mr Lewis, there are MANY great reasons to come to Tennessee, though honestly Elvis is the best one for Memphis :-)
[Well, I don't drink moon shine. What else is there?]

The worst part of this story that you missed is that the money was seized under civil court not criminal. That means you are not innocent beyond a reasonable doubt. In fact money has been taken from people as being drug money after they have been declared innocent of any crime in the US. Many jurisdictions just see it as another source of revenue. As you implied: "You have x thousand in cash. You must have been doing something illegal whether I can prove it or not."
[To me, the moral of the story is NEVER agree to let police search anything, including your vehicle.]

Hi lewis, been reading your stories. the 1 about the stripper is very real. I have a g/f who used to a stripper. she could pick up $10 bills off a beer bottle with her you know what (pussy). she used to make 750 a day dancing. to bad it all went to drugs and booze if she had saved it think of what she would have had from 18 to 39. thats 21 years at 750 a day. -John
[John, if you write "you know what" you don't have to put "pussy" right after it. Sort of defeats the purpose of writing "you know what" in the first place. But that does seem like a valuable skill to have.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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