Bizarre News - January 24, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I bet you didn't know whales did this. Sperm whales are one of the largest species of cetaceans, as such they have few natural enemies, other than man, but they do know how to protect themselves, and one unfortunate group of divers in the Caribbean found out just how effective this bizarre defense mechanism can be.

The divers, part of a government approved expedition, were photographing the whale off the small Island of Dominica, when the giant mammal surprised them with a giant underwater poo cloud.

Described as a 'poonado' by Canadian photographer, Keri Wilk, the peculiar behavior is thought to have been evidence of a rarely seen defense mechanism.

The whale managed to create a whirlwind of excrement by spinning on its side and flapping its tail.

"The water was crystal clear, initially, and was the most idyllic Caribbean blue water that you could imagine. Then after a few waves of feces were released and stirred vigorously by the whale, the water was like chocolate milk, I couldn't see my hand when I held it in front of my face."

To make matters worse, Mr. Wilk prefers to dive with just goggles and a snorkel as bubbles from scuba diving equipment tend disturb the whales.

"I had poop in my eyes, mouth, wetsuit, everywhere and I was soaked in it from head to toe."

On the plus side, Wilk said that this very well could be the first time that such an incident has been photographically documented.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Police: Man may have taken dead mom for bank withdrawal --*
PLYMOUTH, Minn. (UPI) - Authorities in Minnesota said they are looking into whether an elderly woman was already dead when her son brought her to the bank for an $850 withdrawal. Police said David Vanzo of Plymouth reported his mother, Caryl Vanzo, dead just days shy of her 91st birthday about two weeks ago and officers were greeted at the home by a stench of urine and feces. The woman's body was clothed in a robe, fur coat and boots that were covered in excrement, police said. Vanzo, who was arrested on a charge of elderly neglect, was found to have visited the bank with his mother just seven hours before reporting her death. He withdrew $850 from his mother's account, police said. Investigators said they are looking into whether Caryl Vanzo was dead when her son took her to the bank. Witnesses at the bank said the woman's feet were dragging under her wheelchair and Vanzo's neighbors said they wondered whether the mother was dead or unconscious when she was being taken from her house to a taxi cab. David Vanzo had previously been investigated by social workers on allegations of financially exploiting his mother. Police visited the home in 2012 and found Caryl Vanzo was lucid and wanted to stay in the home with her son. David Vanzo denied the allegations against him and said the money he withdrew was from a joint account. "I love my mother very much," he told KMSP-TV. "I gave my life to keep my mother alive. Look at my eyes."


* Police: Florida teen posed as doctor for a month *
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (UPI) - Police in Florida said a teenager caught posing as a doctor at a hospital had been carrying out his ruse at the facility for about a month. Police were called to St. Mary's Medical Center in West Palm Beach on Jan. 13 on a report of a juvenile falsely identifying himself as a doctor while wearing a white lab coat and carrying a stethoscope. "The individual never had contact with any hospital patients and did not gain access to any patient care areas of the hospital at any time. The hospital immediately notified local authorities, who took the individual into custody, and we are cooperating with their ongoing investigation," the hospital said in a statement. However, Dr. Sebastian Kent, an OB/GYN with St. Mary's, said the teen was with him in an examination room while he was with a patient. "The first thing I thought was, 'I am really getting old because these young doctors look younger every year," Kent told CNN. Kent alerted police, who said security guards reported seeing the teenager walking around the hospital while dressed as a doctor on multiple occasions in previous weeks. "I saw him outside our office building with policemen surrounding him. I believe they had him in handcuffs. There was quite a commotion," Kent said. The teen told police he had been a doctor for "years," but his mother said he suffers from an illness and has been refusing to take his medication. The hospital and police said they have decided not to pursue charges against the boy.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
LEWIS; Usually those human cannonball stunts are faked by having an identical looking dummy "shot" out of the cannon by spring action accompanied by sound of a shot and some smoke. The dummy then lands in the net but in dim light the human cannonball guy arises victoriously after pushing the dummy aside. It's an old trick that circuses have been doing for many decades thus not really as dangerous as it appears. Sadly this British stunt company doesn't know the trick. -R.S.

I haven't found a source for this, yet. I did read it years ago. There was a guy who had a job at a manufacturer of railway cars in Chicago. The factory automated his job, but didn't say or do anything about him. For a while he continue to come to work and stay all day, looking for something to do. But there being no regular work assignment, he finally started to clock in every day, go home, and come back to clock out. This lasted, if I remember correctly, for about 25 years until he tried to retire. -Frederick
[Sounds like a lot of union jobs.]

The woman that cut off her man's penis twice had also tried a few months earlier but stabbed him in the leg when she missed her target. She was charged with a misdeweiner.

This Day in History: 1/21/1994 - Lorena Bobbitt was acquitted of maliciously wounding her husband John, accused of sexually assaulting her. Maybe she was just celebrating the anniversary? -Barry

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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