Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I apologize up front to my male readers for today's story.

It seems it was Edgardo Toucet's unlucky day when he finally got a job through a temp agency at a manufacturing plant near Orlando, Florida.

In this economy how could getting a job be unlucky? It is unlucky when you get your genitals caught in an industrial machine.

Like I said, I'm sorry.

Toucet, who hails from Puerto Rico and doesn't speak or write English, claims that he "received no orientation or other formalized instruction or training in preparation for his temporary work assignment as a peeler machine helper."

According to the complaint report, Toucet was put to work at the peeler machine which uses a spinning razor-sharp blade to cut carpet foam.

The peeler machine apparently requires two people to operate, although according to the report it is unclear if Toucet was operating the machine by himself, per safety precautions. What is clear is that both is penis AND testicles were removed by the machine.

Toucet is seeking damages for gross negligence in a lawsuit suing the temp agency, and hopefully Future Foam Manufacturing and anybody else remotely related to the incident.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Man makes daily commute on unicycle --*
ST. PAUL, Minn. - A Minnesota man said he makes his daily 18-mile commute year-round on an unusual vehicle -- a unicycle. Bob Clark, 51, said he travels to his office in downtown St. Paul every day on a unicycle, regardless of the weather, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported Monday. "It's not as hard as most people think it is," Clark said. "Anyone who can ride a bike can ride a unicycle, with a little practice. It's a mind-body thing that happens automatically." Clark said he owns four unicycles and averages about 10 mph in the winter and 12 mph in the summer. He said riding his unicycle in public gets him a lot of attention. "The comments are 99 percent positive," he said. "Lots of people stick their cellphones out the car window to take a picture." However, he does have to deal with the remaining 1 percent. "I had a firecracker thrown at me once," Clark said. "Most people," he said, "just ask where the other wheel is."


*-- 2,160 pounds of rattlesnakes captured --*
SWEETWATER, Texas - Participants in the annual, three-day Sweetwater Rattlesnake RoundUp in Texas caught more than a ton of snakes, organizers said. More than 30,000 people attended the event, they said, with visitors including people from as far away as China, Israel, Germany, England and Australia. The roundup paid $13-per-pound for captured rattlers, featured about 2,160 pounds of rattlesnakes being weighed, the most since the 2,168-pound total in 2010, the Abilene (Texas) Reporter-News reported Monday. "The importance of this is to control the snake population and to inform the public," Texas Game Warden George Pasley said. "You see all these snakes here and you think there can't be many left in the wild, but there's plenty. We see rattlesnakes all the time. I have seen no shortage of rattlesnakes." Kathleen and Darrell McIntyre of Childress won a $400 prize for capturing the longest snake. It measured 78 inches.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Remember when the government shut down under Reagan? Most folks don't. Since 1981, there have been five government shutdowns. Four of the last five government shutdowns went largely unnoticed by anybody but the federal employees affected. -Duane

I can see why you do not do political comments very often. You are not very good at it or just use the same scare or exaggeration practices of the politicians. $550,000 = 27 TSA agents. $550,000 = 5-6 Air traffic controllers. $550,000 = 1,000 "needy patients" getting $550 care. -Jim
[Jim, I'm afraid you are missing the point. It is a matter of priorities. Just today I read a story which claimed that 227,437 federal tax dollars were awarded to study pictures of animals in National Geographic magazines. And another story which said that $1.5 million was awarded to study why lesbians are fat. Congress is voting themselves raises and The White House employs two "ethics advisers" (whatever those are) and three calligraphers, all making close to $100,000 or more, but federal aid to public schools has to be cut? In order to see a scam you first have to open your eyes.]

Lewis: It's called distraction. Your obsession with the $500k going to study Tijuana hookers blinds you to what's really going on - just the way the corporate masters want it. Look at it this way instead. Some guy has a $1 million mortgage that's underwater. He gets pissed off when his kid spends a nickle in a gumball machine! That nickle could go to the mortgage, that nickle could go to pay the health insurance, that nickle could go to pay the electric bill, or...
[$500k doesn't buy much on a federal level, just like a nickel doesn't buy much. But a thousand nickels? Ten thousand?]

That's the whole idea of the cuts. You only cut the things people need, not the things that need to be cut. When you cut the things that are necessary, people become outraged and request the cuts be voided. Then they can go back to spending as usual, It's all smoke and mirrors. -Roger
[Now that is the perfect way to describe it.]

The sequester is a *lot* scarier when you look at this. US Government spending is up 31% from 2008 *after* you factor in the sequester. I repeat that spending up 31%. Since things where a whole lot better *before* the increases in government spending maybe the sequester at 2% is wrong. It should be more like 30 percent across EVERYTHING. -John
[I read that the federal government is taking in more money this year than it ever has before. The Congressional Budget Office is predicting $2.7 trillion in tax revenue this year. If that forecast is hit it would surpass the prior peak of $2.6 trillion, set back in fiscal year 2007 before the recession began. Apparently it's still not enough.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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