Saturday, November 26, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here is an appropriate story for right after Thanksgiving. Researchers in Chicago have determined that more and more people are not getting the full dosages of drugs from intramuscular injections. The culprit? Not stingy pharmaceutical companies or medical personnel shorting dosages. The culprit is fat. Fat asses, to be more specific.

According to the study, fatter rear ends are causing many drug injections to miss their mark, requiring longer needles to reach buttock muscle. Standard-sized needles failed to reach the buttock muscle in 23 out of 25 women whose rears were examined after what was supposed to be an intramuscular injection of a drug.

The buttocks are a good place for intramuscular injections because there are relatively few major blood vessels, nerves and bones that can be damaged by a needle. Plentiful smaller blood vessels found in muscle carry the drug to the rest of the body, while fat tissue contains relatively few blood vessels.

Besides patients receiving less than the correct drug dosage, medications that remain lodged in fat can cause infection or irritation.

So the solution? Longer needles! That's exactly what you want to hear when you go in for your flu shot. "Whoa! Nurse, will you please bring me the 'fatass' needle? Thank you!"

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Police send loaded rifle through mail --*
ORNSKOLDSVIK, Sweden - Swedish police said personnel will receive further training after a loaded rifle was sent to a forensic lab through the mail. Ornskoldsvik police said the rifle was apparently not examined closely enough before it was sent to the Swedish National Laboratory of Forensic Science in Linkoping, Swedish news agency TT reported Tuesday. "These things happen now and again, unfortunately," said Tore Olsson of the Swedish National Laboratory of Forensic Science. Officer Dick Danielsson at the Ornskoldsvik station said the incident was reported to the Work Environment Authority and all personnel will receive further training. He said a committee has been assembled to review weapon handling procedures. "It was lucky that nothing happened and we are treating it as a very serious matter that the weapon was sent off without anyone checking if it was loaded," Danielsson said.

*-- Burglar left himself logged into Facebook --*
NORCROSS, Ga. - Police in Georgia said they were searching for a burglary suspect who allegedly left himself logged into Facebook on his victim's computer. Gwinnett County police allege Trevor Jones, 34, left his car running in the driveway of a home he burglarized near Norcross Nov. 15, and homeowner Stephanie White returned while he was still inside and took his keys and wallet, which contained his identification, from the vehicle, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Tuesday. White drove to the end of the street and saw Jones flee with items from her home, police said. Investigators allege Jones broke into a second home in the neighborhood later in the day and left himself logged into Facebook on the victim's computer. White's digital camera was discovered in the second victim's home, police said. Jones, who was on parole for a previous burglary charge, was being sought on charges of burglary, criminal trespassing and parole violation.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, I hope you're making a lot of $$. You bring a lot of fun into my life, Sugar. Thanks from a fan in California.
[Well, I don't keep a stack of twenty dollar bills under the sink in the bathroom, but I squeak by. Thanks for the kudos.]

I'm a 56 yr. old mother of 3 daughters and grandmother of 4. You not only make my day.....you give me something to have in common with my snotty grandchildren....we all love you. THANKS. --Mary
[It's nice to know that Bizarre News is generational.]

Lewis, I keep reading about this debt crisis stuff and I have an idea--instead of taking money away from things like education, libraries, etc to pay off the national debt, why not take the money away from rich fat-cat politicians who put us in debt in the first place? --C. J.
[Not all politicians are rich fat cats. You have to be in office for a long time before you can start demanding the kind of graft and kick-backs that will qualify you as a 'fat cat'.]

Hi Lewis! I've been reading for a while now, so I'm thrilled at the chance to contribute. -dragonmum "A southeast Missouri man faces drug charges after catching clothing around his crotch on fire, allegedly while using the shake-and-bake method to make methamphetamine. Witnesses told police they saw a man get out of his vehicle with a bottle on fire and flames in the area of his crotch. He ran toward a trash bin, poured out the contents, threw out the bottle and fled."

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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