Bizarre News - July 23, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I am getting sick and tired of this border fiasco. A constant stream of transients, ne'er-do-wells and scofflaws have made the U.S. border security a joke. But at least one border patrol agent has stood up to this wave of criminality like a real American...with the cold, hard steel of a gun barrel.

And he could have picked no better villain to make an example of than those arch scoundrels, The Boy Scouts.

About 10 days into a road trip to Alaska, an Iowa Boy Scout troop reached the Canadian border into Alaska. They were stopped, like they normally would be, when Troop Leader Jim Fox said something went bad. Way bad.

Fox said one of the Scouts took a picture of a border official, which spurred agents to detain everyone in that van and search them and their belongings.

"The agent immediately confiscated his camera, informed him he would be arrested, fined possibly $10,000 and 10 years in prison," Fox said.

Not wanting things to escalate, Fox said he did not complain.

Another of the Scouts was taking luggage from the top of a van to be searched when something startling happened.

"He hears a snap of a holster, turns around, and here's this agent, both hands on a loaded pistol, pointing at the young man's head," Fox explained.

Because when it comes to pre-teens from Iowa wearing shorts and neckerchiefs, you can't be too careful.

Ultimately no one was hurt or arrested, and after about four hours of searching and questioning they were allowed to continue their trip into Alaska.

With the hot bed of international smuggling that The Boy Scouts has become, maybe they need a few more handguns pointed in their faces. If only one Scout is scared straight and off the crooked path of loyalty, helpfulness, friendliness, obedience, bravery, cleanliness, and reverence, it would be worth it.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Woman's dine-and-dash attempt fails when she leaves purse behind --*
BRANDON, Alberta (UPI) - A Canadian woman who attempted to dine-and-dash was arrested after she was forced to return to the scene of the crime because she left her purse behind. Kyla Anne MacMillan had to return to an Alberta pub after skipping out on a $160 bar tab that she had rung up with two female friends. After bailing on the bill, MacMillan returned to the bar because she had left her purse containing her medication. MacMillan's hefty tab included a pitcher of beer, chicken wings, nachos and 23 shots. According to the tab, the ladies slugged down six shots of tequila, 10 B-52s, six Dirty Hookers and one vodka shooter, the Star reported. She initially claimed that she had simply stepped outside to use an ATM, but that excuse didn't fly. The suspect pleaded guilty to fraudulently obtaining food and was fined $325, in addition to being ordered to pay the bill. MacMillan is unemployed and only had $5.35 on her during her court appearance.


*-- Minor league GM to get prostate exam during game to promote cancer awareness --*
MYRTLE BEACH, Fla. (UPI) - In order to help promote cancer awareness, a minor league general manager has agreed to get a prostate exam during the seventh-inning stretch of an upcoming game. To make things even more interesting, Andy Milovich will have the exam performed while he is singing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game." Milovich, the GM of the Myrtle Beach Pelicans, will undergo the examination during the Pelicans game on Thursday on one condition. He wants the Facebook page of 10-year-old Fallon Emery, a local girl who has brain cancer, to get 10,000 "likes" before the game. The page had over 8,800 likes as of Monday morning. The Pelicans are the Single-A affiliate of the Texas Rangers. "If what we do saves a kid from having to lose his or her father because they get checked out, this will be worth it," Milovich told ESPN. In addition to the stunt, the club will also be handing out 1,000 foam fingers with blue ribbons on them. "It's not like I would be getting it at home plate," Milovich said. "I'll likely do it from our radio booth and the fans will see me from the shoulder up."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
I'm flattered that you would print part of the message I sent regarding how O'Bama has lied about the state of the world's security. You began your italicized response with ""Speaking of doublespeak... " which was hilarious as you had used two letters with two completely different writing styles and points, mashed them together and signed it "Mike". I'll continue to subscribe, not because of you personally, but because of... -Rick
[Editor's Note: Rick actually wrote a lot more, but I didn't have room to print it.]

I wonder how that pizza pranker is going to explain one detail. Domino's, like most pizza delivery places, will call back to confirm the order. If he didn't place the order, then he wouldn't have confirmed it when they called back. -Chris
[Maybe they let him make the call from his cell phone.]

Pro-boner.. really? Did you really say that? LOL -Patty
[Somebody has to make these jokes, Patty.]

Hahaha... I *knew* you were fishing for hits when you dragged out politics the letter-before-last. But then you doubled down and endorsed "Ron Paul" that proved to me you really are a wild and crazy guy, beyond doubt! -Rick
[Have you heard the latest bizarre story about Ron Paul? Can you imagine what kind of president he would have made?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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