Bizarre News - March 5, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Never bring a knife to a gun fight?" If you believe in the validity of this sage advice you might also think it would be poor judgment to bring a toy to a gun fight.

The perpetrator in today's story would agree with you.

34-year-old Michael Oliva was charged in federal court in connection to an attempted bank robbery in Trimble, MO. According to an affidavit Oliva entered the bank, allegedly pulled on a black mask and pointed what appeared to be a handgun at a bank employee and ordered her to give him the money in her teller drawer.

Instead of complying the employee dropped to the floor behind the teller station and began shouting for help. As she was crawling away, the affidavit says, she saw Oliva lean over the teller station and point his "weapon" at her.

A second bank employee, who was in an office, heard the shouts for help. He saw Oliva pointing a handgun at the first bank employee and retrieved a Smith & Wesson .357 revolver.

But instead of a shootout what occurred was a near execution, because Oliva didn't have a handgun, he had a plastic toy. Not knowing this, the second employee fired two rounds, the first shot striking Oliva in the face.

Apparently being shot in the face with a .357 was enough for him because he turned and fled. He was arrested a short time later with no money but in possession of an extra bullet.

Who says gun laws don't work?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Boy pointed finger like a gun, got three-day school suspension --*
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A boy, 10, was suspended from his Columbus, Ohio, elementary school last week for pointing his finger at a classmate as a gun, a school spokesman said. Fifth-grader Nathan Entingh received a three-day suspension from Devonshire Alternative Elementary School for his "level 2 lookalike firearm," the suspension letter mailed to his parents said. "I was just playing around. People play around a lot like this at my school" and are not suspended for it, Nathan said. School district spokesman Jeff Warner said Nathan put his finger to the side of another student's head and pretended to shoot "kind of execution style." He added Devonshire principal Patricia Price had warned students about pretend gun play and its consequences on numerous occasions during the school year. "He said he was playing," said Nathan's father, Paul Entingh. "It would even make more sense if he brought a plastic gun that looked like a real gun or something but it was his finger." Away from school for several days, Nathan reflected on his suspension Monday, saying, "I think it was dumb," the Columbus Dispatch reported Tuesday.


*-- Woman takes 14 years of family portraits with mannequins --*
ENGLEWOOD, Colo. - A Colorado woman said she has been taking portraits around the world with her mannequin family because she was tired of being asked why she wasn't married. Suzanne Heintz, an art director for Starz Entertainment Group in Englewood, said she started taking pictures with a mannequin husband and daughter 14 years ago as a response to being asked why she wasn't married yet, twentytwowords.com reported Monday. Heintz, who has traveled more than 10,000 miles to take pictures with her mannequins in locations including several famous Paris landmarks, said on her website the project is about "spinsterhood, and the American way." "You can't just go out and buy a family. Or can you? I did. They are mannequins. The candy coated shell with nothing inside. We do all those family things, all the while capturing those Kodak Moments. Because it's not really about the journey, or a genuine human connection, when you're kids are screaming, 'Are we there yet?' Is it? It's about the picture in front of the sign. 'Get back in the car. We got the picture. Now, let's go eat,'" she wrote.

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News Archives

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS