Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Do you remember the scene in the 1999 movie "Fight Club" when the narrator is delayed at the airport because his luggage was vibrating? The airport security guys tells the narrator that nine times out of ten the vibration is caused by an electric razor, but every once in a while it's a dildo.

If you thought that was just stupid movie crap, you'll be interested to read this story.

It seems a California Highway Patrol office was briefly evacuated earlier this month when investigators became concerned that an arrestee might have been carrying a concealed explosive device.

When officers collared Steven Ferrini on a drug charge, a search of the 60-year-old suspect turned up "a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch" in his pants pocket. So they called in El Dorado County's "explosive ordinance disposal" team and evacuated "all unnecessary personnel" from the office.

The wire was found to extend from the pants pocket to the subject's anus and was connected to a vibrator. The bomb squad "rendered the device safe" and determined it was not dangerous.

The vibrator was subsequently removed and placed into property, hopefully after being washed or at least placed in a plastic bag.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Severed hand was actually dried squid --*
HONOLULU - A hand-shaped object that led Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources to call the police was determined to be a dried-out squid. A woman said a group of teenagers and young adults from her family discovered the object, which resembled the severed hand of a small child, at Mokuauia Seabird Sanctuary, also known as Goat Island, and she urged them to call authorities Thursday, the Honolulu Star-Advertiser reported Monday. Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources responded to the scene and contacted the Honolulu Police Department's homicide unit upon viewing the object. However, officials soon determined the object was actually a dried-out squid.

*-- Man who woke up in morgue goes home --*
EASTERN CAPE, South Africa - A South African man thought by his family to have been dead only to wake up in a morgue has been discharged from the hospital, officials say. The man woke up in an Eastern Cape mortuary Sunday, Primedia Broadcasting EyeWitness News reported. He was brought there by a private undertaker Saturday after his family thought he was dead because they couldn't wake him up. But the mortuary staff heard him screaming Sunday morning. He was found to be dehydrated and taken to a hospital for monitoring. He was released Monday. Health officials are calling for tighter regulation of the funeral industry, saying the undertakers should not have presumed the man was dead.


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*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Why is it that when people decide to argue with the police, disobey orders from the police, get tasered or injured when the police take them down , THEN decide that they have been 'injured'.. ? What part of do not argue with the guy with the gun, baton, taser, shotgun and BADGE that these idiots do not understand? I do not care if the police are totally in the wrong.. arguing with them NEVER helps the issue and if you ARE in the right, by the time to get to the station/jail, you will likely have committed some offense while arguing and resisting them.. thus.. you STILL go to jail. -Corky
[You are definitely right about the second part. It is easy to talk your way into incriminating yourself. That is why we have the Fifth Amendment, to protect INNOCENT people from the police and the justice system.]

Rose Davey is an idiot. and shame on Lewis for not tearing her a new one over her incredibly stupid remark. we should always be on the side of the law? maybe if the cops were always on the side of the law, but when so many of them are obviously not interested in the law or the rights of the citizenry, statements like "you should always be on the side of the law, no matter if a man got his camera busted. Big deal compared to a life?" seem especially stupid, dangerous, and disingenuous. today, just a broken camera. tomorrow a broken head? there is NO excuse from that behavior from those professionals who are trained and paid to protect us. -Diana
[You shouldn't be on the side of the law if the law is unjust. That goes for police as well as citizens. If there were a law passed requiring you to wear a badge at all times in public declaring who you are and what religion you practice, would you follow it?]

Thanks for the laughs today, Lewis. I have to admit some of these people are just dumb. And they ask me why I don't like to leave the house very often! Keep up the good work. -Patti
[Let me guess...is it because of abusive cops?]

Sorry but I must disagree. While I agree that tapping phone lines secretly is wrong, taking photographs in public places is not the same thing. When any of us (including the police) are out in public, any recording of our actions is not invasion of privacy. The police have cameras used to record our driving habits and we can be ticketed for those photos, so why should we not be allowed to photograph the police in action? --Dan
[Most people would agree with you.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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