Bizarre News - August 5, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Kevin Spacey...I mean...Kenzo Roberts did not, I repeat; not want to be identified when he was pulled over by police while driving a stolen Mercedes in Florida.

After detectives from the Lee County Sheriff's Office pulled over the 20-year-old, they found Roberts using a fake identification. He was also in possession of a concealed firearm and he had 3 fraudulent credit cards.

He was placed in a patrol car, but his hands were not secured, giving him the opportunity to try and chew his own fingertips off.

Surveillance video from the police car shows Roberts rubbing his finger in the cage before eating pieces of his skin in an effort to remove his fingerprints.

However, his efforts were unsuccessful. The Lee County Sheriff's Office learned that Roberts has two felony warrants for his arrest for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

And yes, the story is real. Please trust me when I tell you not to look for the video online.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Hitchhiking robot's journey ends with Philadelphia mugging --*
PHILADELPHIA - The Canadian researchers behind the "hitchBOT" hitchhiking robot said a planned Boston-San Francisco voyage ended prematurely in Philadelphia. The hitchBOT team said the robot, which previously hitchhiked across Canada for 19 days last summer and also had a successful hitchhiking experience in Europe, said they received a photo Saturday night of the robot dismantled and damaged in Philadelphia. "We have no interest in pressing charges or finding the people who vandalized hitchBOT; we wish to remember the good times, and we encourage hitchBOT's friends and fans to do the same," the robot's creators said on their website. Frauke Zeller, a professor at Ryerson University in Toronto and co-creator of Hitchbot, said the culprit narrowly evaded being photographed by the robot's timed camera. "It didn't take any pictures unfortunately of the culprits," Zeller told The Guardian. "They were lucky because it takes images every 20 minutes so it must have been in-between that interval." The robot's camera was designed to send pictures back to its support team, which posted the photos on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. The team pledged hitchBOT will return. "My trip must come to an end for now, but my love for humans will never fade," hitchBOT tweeted.


*-- Woman, 110, drank three Miller High Lifes a day for 70 years --*
ENGLEWOOD, N.J. - A New Jersey woman marking her 110th birthday said a doctor's orders led her to drink three Miller High Life beers and a shot of scotch every day for 70 years. Agnes Fenton of Englewood, who officially became a supercentenarian Saturday, credited God with helping her to reach her advanced age. "When I was 100 years old, I went to the mirror to thank God that I was still here. And I thank him every morning," Fenton told The Record newspaper. "He gave me a long life and a good life, and I have nothing to complain about. ... You've got to have God in your life. Without God, you've got nothing." Fenton was interviewed by ABC News around her 105th birthday, and she said some advice she received from her doctor about 70 years earlier had been invaluable. "He said, 'Agnes, you must drink three Miller High Lifes a day,'" she said. Fenton said she dutifully downed three of the beers with a shot of scotch each day until recently, when nurses said her limited diet wouldn't allow her to keep drinking. She said her scotch of choice was top-shelf: Johnny Walker Blue Label. "Each of our centenarians has their different secrets," said Stacy Andersen, a project manager with the New England Centenarian Study. "If Agnes feels hers is alcohol, maybe it is, but certainly we don't find that to be consistent across all our centenarians."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, setting fire to your own property is still arson. It doesn't matter if it's yours or somebody else's, under the law it still counts as arson. -Chris
[Then I guess I had better keep an eye out for witnesses the next time I light up a cigar.]

Lewis, I find it difficult to believe that someone could bake a cake and frost it without seeing a pair of scissors sticking out of it when the person who purchased it could readily see it. And what does a bakery use scissors for if not to stick in cakes? -Wes

Not arson because it's his house? Well, what if that fire would have killed his wife? Or better yet, what if that set fire would have killed responding firefighters? This dim-bulb was trying to destroy his house with his wife in it!
[So arson is better than attempted murder? I think I see where you're going with this.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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