Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

We have discussed child discipline in Bizarre News before, and just as you might guess, BN readers seem to be split right down the middle about whether corporal punishment is a good idea or not. But I think we can all agree that engaging in a medieval-style battle with your child because she disobeyed you is a bit extreme.

But not to Washington state resident Everett Seay, Renaissance fair enthusiast and one strict father.

When Everett's 16-year-old daughter went to a neighboring town without permission, he went to find her and put a medieval smack down on her.

Once he got his daughter home he sat on her and used a switch (that's a long, thin stick to you and me) to whip the back of her legs, but apparently he didn't think that was completely fair. After the switchin' he gave her some armor, a helmet and a wooden sword. Suiting himself up similarly, Everett and the girl fought for nearly two hours, from 2 to 4 a.m., until she could no longer stand from exhaustion.

The 16-year-old was not hospitalized, but she suffered extensive bruising. A friend called police after the girl texted her photos of the bruises she suffered.

Dad was arrested on suspicion of second-degree assault with a deadly weapon.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- N.C. Bigfoot expert to lead hunt --*
SALISBURY, N.C. - A North Carolina man who has hunted for Bigfoot for decades says he will lead a four-day expedition to seek out the never-confirmed, man-ape creature. Michael Greene, 70, of Salisbury, who said his previous encounters with Bigfoot -- also known as Sasquatch and Yeti in the folklore of different cultures -- include hearing the creature roar and capturing thermal imaging footage of a 7-foot-tall creature with no discernible neck, said he will lead a team into the Uwharrie National Forest in November to try to bring the reputed creature out of hiding, The (Raleigh) News & Observer reported Monday. "Usually," Greene said of his previous Bigfoot hunts, "nothing at all happens. But you hear roaring in the bushes. They'll pitch rocks into camp, but they never hit anybody." Greene said his team will try to root out the Sasquatch with low-tech methods such as banging on trees with baseball bats and leaving candy bars at their campsite.

*-- Police: Thief hid ice cream in pants --*
FORT PIERCE, Fla. - Police in Florida said they arrested a man on a theft charge after he allegedly stole an ice cream sandwich by concealing it in his pants. Fort Pierce police said an assistant manager at the Family Dollar store saw a man take something from a cooler and leave the store without paying Oct. 12, TCPalm.com reported Monday. "She watched him as he walked across the street to the Dollar Tree store, as he walked he removed an ice cream sandwich from the front of his pants and began eating it," the arrest report states. "He then entered the Dollar Tree and came out a few minutes later with a drink and then began to walk west on Georgia Avenue." Police found Robert Silva, 32, while he was walking with a beverage. He told officers he stole the ice cream treat because his car had blown a tire near the store and he was only carrying $3. The suspect said "he was sorry," the report states. Silva was arrested on a charge of misdemeanor theft.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
I have a GMC Sonoma pickup truck and I believe I would be highly distracted by a couple humping in the seat beside me. It would largely be because I would find it very difficult to drive while being repeatedly elbowed and bumped in my right side. Maybe someone else may try something like that, but count me out.
[How about if they were midgets?]

Turns out Winkler Manitoba (pop. 10,000) wanted to create some one-way streets in their town. Unfortunately, they ended up making all of the streets the same way, ending up in no choice but driving out of town. Ahhh, Manitoba!
[That's Canadian engineering for you.]

All doctors are now required BY LAW to put all patients medical information on a computer and get rid of paper files and the Government will have access to it. No matter what your age, ailment, whatever. This is all linked to changes in Medicare, according to my doctors. There are many problems, the least of which is I don't like that some Government employee can pull up not only my medical tests, all my medications, AND concerns I have discussed with my doctor.
[What's wrong? You don't want some bureaucrat deciding how much medical care you get based upon what kind and how many doctor's visits you've had? How paranoid.]

Lewis...I am a pilot who used to fly jumpers back in the 90s and they are the craziest motherfuckers on the earth. it was not the most uncommon thing for them to have sex in the aircraft...I mean the owners of these places seem to give them implied consent. I lived at a drop zone for a few years while building up my pilot experience, and trust me this is not that unusual. -LD
[As entertaining as it sounds, I think seeing naked people fall out of the sky would get pretty annoying after a while.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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