Saturday, April 7, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A Pennsylvania state trooper says an extremely drunk woman met him at the door wearing underpants and holding two yellow roses she wanted him to accept as part of her "cop fantasy" -- that's all before he charged her with drunken driving instead.

Trooper Thomas Laskey went to a residence after a motorist reported they were following a car that had been driving erratically on Interstate 99.

Laskey says 40-year-old Monica Barnhart answered the door and matched the description he had of the driver -- except that she had taken off her blue jeans and was wearing only underpants.

Police say Barnhart eventually acknowledged driving the car and that her blood alcohol content was more than four times the legal limit for drivers.

No word on whether he helper her fulfill her fantasy.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Even More Bizarre April Holidays --*
April 21 is Kindergarten Day
April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day
April 23 is Read Me Day and World Laboratory Animal Day
April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket Day
April 25 is National Zucchini Bread Day
April 26 is Richter Scale Day and National Pretzel Day
April 27 is Tell A Story Day
April 28 is Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss-Your-Mate Day
April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day
April 30 is National Honesty Day

*-- Naked drunks ride cart through car wash --*
ABBOTSFORD, British Columbia - Three young, drunken and naked British Columbia men escaped charges and came out squeaky clean after riding a grocery cart through a car wash, police said. Police in Abbotsford were called after midnight Tuesday by neighbors who heard screaming coming from a drive-through, 24-hour car wash, the Vancouver Sun reported. Constable Ian MacDonald said when officers arrived, they found three 23-year-old inebriated men getting dressed. The trio told officers they had stripped and gotten into a shopping cart to ride through the car wash, the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported. "Not knowing at this point whether they picked 'typhoon' or 'super typhoon' I'd suggest that either of those and the combination of the brushes that would have come past them would be enough to definitely leave you with a little bit of a memory of what you had done the prior night," MacDonald said. Police issued warnings, but didn't charge the men. MacDonald told the CBC it was fortunate the trio hadn't selected a hot wax cycle.

*-- Woman called 911 over 'nasty' burger --*
ROCKWOOD, Tenn. - Police in Tennessee said a woman was arrested for abuse of the 911 system after twice calling the emergency number to complain about an eatery's "nasty" food. The criminal complaint filed March 29 in Roane County general Sessions Court said Donna Marie Nichols, 50, called 911 twice to report the food at a Hardee's restaurant in Rockwood "is no good," The Smoking Gun reported Thursday. "I only took a small bite out of the burger and it's nasty," Nichols told the 911 operator. She also told the operator she had previously called Hardee's and the restaurant offered to refund her money. Police responded to Nichols' location and she was taken to the county jail, where she was released Monday on $1,500 bail.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hi Lewis: My Psychology professor says that there is no link between vaccines and disorders like Autism or ADHD. She could not, however, explain why it is so much more prevalent now than 30 years ago. -Brad
[It's probably the Illuminati or the New World Order's shadow government poisoning the water, or some other completely reasonable explanation.]

I once saw a bumper sticker that said "I have a name for bad drivers-everyone but me" -WV Dave

What does it matter whether or not Chicago hot dogs have chili on them or not? What matters is how a person prefers their hot dogs. Sure, there may be a "Chicago-style" hot dog that does not have chili, but there is also the "Coney-style" that requires chili, as well as mustard and onions, yet some people might order them without chili. -Chris
[Blasphemy! Sure, you can get a Chicago-style without onions, or maybe with ketchup and still call it "Chicago" but a Coney without chili, onions and yellow mustard is not a Coney. You might as well call a Fiat a Cadillac. You are talking like a crazy person.]

Well, I have to respond to susanne, who claimed that Aspartame is causing autism. My wife and I both drink copious quantities of diet soda containing aspartame. We have three children, all of whom had ALL their vaccinations, yet all three are honor graduates from college and functioning adults with their own jobs, apartments, and lives. No sign of autism anywhere. So, keep looking -- there is a reason behind autism, but not vaccinations or aspartame. -David
[Well, I'm convinced. If it hasn't happened to you it hasn't happened to anybody.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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