Saturday, May 25, 2013
Greetings fellow Bizarros:Everybody is getting stabby lately. Last week we met a couple from Florida who got into a knife-wielding argument about money (and alcohol) which ended with the boyfriend suffering an abdomen wound (and a girlfriend in jail).
This week's couple comes from Pennsylvania and their argument was over American Idol, of all things (and alcohol).
48-year-old Karen Elaine Harrelson and 57-year-old Gregory Stambaugh had been watching the show at Stambaugh's home when the incident occurred.
Police say they got into a drunken argument over which contestant - Candice Glover or Kree Harrison - should win the season's title. Investigators say one went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and stabbed the other. The person stabbed first then grabbed the knife and stabbed the other.
Investigators say each told police the other stabbed first.
Now, both are being held in York County Prison on assault charges and having bad taste in television viewing.
Bizarrely,
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Email Lewis * 'Court' at Florida school acquits Wicked Witch *FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - A "court" comprised of students at a Florida school found the Wicked Witch of the West "not guilty by reason of insanity" on an attempted murder charge. Mark Haynes, a seventh grade literature teacher at St. Anthony Catholic School in Fort Lauderdale, said his students played the roles of the defendant, victims, witnesses, prosecutors and defense lawyers, while students from other classes at the pre-K through eighth grade school served as jurors and spectators, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Friday. Haynes said the trial Thursday was the result of two months of preparation as part of a lesson using the plot of "Oz the Great and Powerful." The role of the judge was filled by Tim Donnelly, a prosecutor with the Broward State Attorney's Office. The jury deliberated for 10 minutes and found the witch not guilty by reason of insanity. Haynes said the lesson helped the students apply lessons from literature to real life. "I'm not necessarily trying to cultivate lawyers or actors," he said. "I'm trying to cultivate thinkers and artists."
* Mother has son arrested for Pop-Tart theft *CHARLOTTE, N.C. - Police in Charlotte, N.C., said a woman called authorities and had her juvenile son arrested for stealing her Pop-Tarts. Charlotte-Mecklenburg police said officers responded to the woman's home Monday and she reported her juvenile son had stolen her breakfast pastries, WCNC-TV, Charlotte, reported Thursday. The police report said the boy was placed under juvenile arrest on a charge of larceny/misdemeanor. WCNC-TV said the woman, whose name was not reported, refused to comment at her home, choosing to instead shout an obscenity and slam the door.
*-- READER COMMENTS --*Here's one for you, Lewis. "Man Jumps From Moving Car Because Wife Won't "Shut Up." A 23-year-old Tennessee man bailed from a moving vehicle during an argument with his wife, who was driving, because she wouldn't "shut up." He's in critical but stable condition after being helicoptered to the hospital. What a genius. -Regards, J.L. Cook
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If he were smart he would have pushed his wife out.]
Lewis - do you have the staff there at Bizarre News writing out comments to you again? -Lance
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Staff? Who do you think we are, the Chicago Tribune? There is one assistant editor for me, TZ, Anisa and the other editors in the office. He also makes coffee, sorts mail and acts as a guinea pig for when we need to test new products.]
Hey Lewis, about that woman in Florida who stabbed her boyfriend? That could have been me! I got into a fight once with my boyfriend and got so mad at him I did the same thing, threw a knife at him. Fortunately I can't throw for shit and he wasn't injured. Believe it or not we weren't drinking! We had been smoking pot, though. Go figure. -Louise
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You are ruining pot's image with that story.]
Lewis, I forward your letter to 10 of my friends that I have on a group email. I don't know if any have signed up yet. I have a few less raunchy friends so I have to delete some of your remarks. Keep up the great work, you really make my morning. -Carole
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You have to delete some of my comments because they are too raunchy? What kind of pussies do you have for friends?]
*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News ArchivesWell, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS