Saturday, June 9, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Americans have a reputation for being overweight. Obese. Zaftig. Fat slobs, in other words. Unfortunately this reputation largely deserved. Fortunately we have escaped being the subject of the following story.

It seems a poor Austrian woman of some considerable girth passed away recently and the family decided to cremate the body.

As the temperatures in the crematorium reached 300 C (that is 572 F) the operators realized there was a problem. Her body fat was burning out of control. Thick black smoke started billowing out of the crematorium. The device was immediately switched off but by then the building had caught fire.

Firemen, whose clothing was left covered with a layer of greasy black soot, eventually had to bring the fire under control by blasting water in through the vents used to clear the filter.

A spokesman said that after reports of similar problems at other cemeteries not only in Austria but also in Switzerland, officials were now are considering a ban on larger bodies.

That's one way to leave a legacy, I guess.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Shin-kicking Championships held in Britain --*
CHIPPING CAMDEN, England - The judge of the Shin-kicking Championships in Britain said the sport is about more than just two men kicking each other below the knees. James Wiseman, who judged this year's Shin-kicking Championships at the Cotswold Olimpicks, an event held in Chipping Camden, England, on-and-off since the 1600s, said the event is similar to wrestling, ITN reported Wednesday. "I kind of get quite annoyed when people think that shin-kicking is quite literally two guys facing each other and kicking each other as hard as possible in the shins," Wiseman said. "The easiest ways to describe it is it's a bit like wrestling but with a lot of contact below the knees. The idea is really to throw the person to the ground, but to throw the person to the ground you've got to unbalance by kicking them first." The winner of this year's event was Zac Warren, 23, of Pershaw, England.

*-- Kids punished by holding sign at roadside --*
FORT WAYNE, Ind. - An Indiana mother said she made her 12-and 14-year-old children hold a sign at an intersection as punishment for being "disrespectful" to their stepfather. Amanda Minch of Fort Wayne said she was originally only going to make the children hold the sign at the intersection of Eastwick Drive and Reed Road for 40 minutes Monday, but she added another 40 minutes when they laughed about the idea, WANE-TV, Fort Wayne, reported Wednesday. "We are disrespectful and nasty to our dad. We don't follow the rules and we only do what we want. We hit him and treat him like crap. We are ungrateful," the sign read. Minch said she picked the sign-holding punishment after previous attempts to alter their behavior failed. "No matter how many conversations we had, it never stopped. So we just decided, you know what, other parents have tried it, so let's try it," Minch said. "Let's embarrass them a little bit and let people know how they behave and how they treat their stepdad." Minch said the punishment previously worked for her 13-year-old child.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
That story about the cat helicopter is disgusting. That is no way to show "respect" for a beloved pet. Why not bury the cat and have a little memorial for him? THAT would be a way to show respect. -Chris
[But think about it; now the kitty is that much closer to being an angel.]

How bizarre. I just read your story about the helicopter kitty, went to another e-zine I subscribe to, and viola, there's the video. -Ringo
[Kind of creepy, isn't it?]

Hey Lewis, there is a commercial where I live that uses the opening line, "Are you laying in a hospital bed with dirty underwear, one eye, and hungry? Or did you listen to your mother?" I always get a kick out of that. LOL --Marv
[I have been to the emergency room a couple times in my life and I have always been thankful to have clean underwear on.]

Why is it a man can "rent the cow for a little milk" but a woman is expected to marry a pig just to get a little sausage? --Heather
[Sounds like somebody has some issues.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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