Saturday, July 14, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The question to ask yourself here is; would you let someone suck your toes for a hundred bucks?

That seems like a pretty fair price to me, but apparently it wasn't for one 18-year-old Georgia woman.

According to thesmokinggun.com a man posing as a representative of "America's Funniest Home Videos" tricked the girl into allowing him to suck her toe inside a Walmart.

Gullible? Maybe, but the poor girl is unemployed.

According to the sheriff's report, the teen was shopping when approached by the middle-aged suspect, a 43-year-old registered sex offender whose rap sheet is littered with foot-related crimes.

After asking the teen if her toenails were painted, the man said, "I know this sounds crazy, but have you ever heard of America's Funniest Home Videos?" When the woman said she had, the man replied that he would pay for her purchases (of about $100) if she agreed to cooperate with a 'prank.'

"I know this is crazy," the suspect said, "but can I kiss your foot?" The victim agreed under the impression it was a TV prank, but when the pervert guided the woman behind a clothing rack and put her big toe in his mouth and began sucking on it, she started screaming.

Before bolting from the store the man reportedly said, "Oh, it tasted so good though."

The incident has been classified as simple battery involving hands, feet or teeth.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Neighbors upset over fake testicles --*
TONAWANDA, N.Y. - A battle between neighbors in western New York intensified when one woman put a pair of fake testicles in her back yard. Shirley Draper, of Tonawanda, put the fake testicles in her yard in June, The Tonawanda (N.Y.) News reported Thursday. Her neighbor, Peter Diliberto, called the Tonawanda Police Department June 27 to complain about the lawn ornament, but was told the police could not handle the issue, as displaying fake testicles is not considered illegal. In response, Diliberto and his wife took a picture of Draper's fake testicles and made a laminated yard sign that points to Draper's yard. Draper tried to rip the picture out of the Dilibertos' yard July 4, police Lt. Nick Bado said. She wasn't arrested at that time, but will be served criminal summons for fourth-degree criminal mischief and trespassing.

*-- Surfing goats spotted in California --*
SAN DIEGO - California beach-goers were surprised to see two goats riding the waves on a tandem surfboard in San Diego. Goat owner Dana McGregor, from Pismo Beach, met up with tandem surfing duo Mark and Debbie Gale Wednesday to see if his goats, Goatee and Pismo, would get on a surfboard together, The Orange County (Calif.) Register reported. "They look pretty happy. Thinking this is going to be a little bit easier than surfing with the wife," Mark Gale said of the challenge. McGregor has been bringing the goats surfing for a while now, but has never put them on the same board. On Wednesday the pair of goats had a few rides together before Goatee, the older one, swam to shore. "Oh my gosh. That was hilarious. I never thought I'd see the day," said surfer Po Carbal, 22. "Goats on a surfboard -- I've seen it all. I think it's probably one of the oddest and coolest things I've ever seen at the beach."

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis; I don't get the charges of the woman, who, with her drunk husband, tied their children to the hood of a car because he thought they would like it. She gets charged with neglect. Did they view the tying the kids to the car as being done for their safety? What happened to reckless endangerment? He gets off light with parenting classes and supervision and she gets charged with neglect instead of reckless endangerment. What about the trauma to these poor kids who may never enjoy being tied to the hood of a car again. -Wes.
[I remember the first time my dad tied me to the hood of the car.]

Hi Lewis.. Your breaking news said: The woman was arrested on suspicion of public nudity and criminal damage to property. Police said there is "no indication" whether the woman was under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Other than all of the public nudity, of course. I am curious about the SUSPICION of public nudity. Was it not obvious that she was indeed nude? If they can't be sure, she's got bigger problems than you and I put together! -Patty

I can understand wanting to strap the kids to the hood (and the wife too) and I have not been drunk in over 25 years. -Dave
[If you have fantasies about tying your wife and kids to the hood of the car maybe you need a drink or two.]

Let's see now, Detroit is in bad shape, physically and financially, and someone actually wants to invest in a business that would bring in revenue for the city government. Maybe it would even help existing businesses, which would generate more taxes for the city. Yup, I can see why they wouldn't want to let that happen alright. Nasty business, getting more taxes to improve things. Can't have that. -Tom.
[The city leaders have to preserve Detroit's image, after all.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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