Bizarre News - August 1, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

An Omaha man's desire for his wife burned a little too hot last week, setting his home on fire. Well, maybe it wasn't exactly desire. Probably more like spite. But spite can get pretty hot too.

It all started when firefighters responded to a house fire around 11:30 p.m. According to an Omaha Police Department report, a woman outside the home, speaking through an interpreter, told police that her husband set the fire.

Apparently, 36-year-old Gilberto Garcia had spent the evening arguing with his wife. The fact that he had been drinking all night probably didn't help either.

The woman said that when she went to bed, her husband followed her and began making sexual advances. After spurning her husband's advances, the woman went back to sleep only to be awakened by the smell of smoke. She told police that she found her husband in a bathroom closet setting fire to her clothes.

It seems no fight is so bad as to preclude a little nooky.

The woman and her three children got out of the house and she called 911.

Firefighters determined that a fire in a closet had been intentionally set, and Garcia has been charged with first-degree arson. He faces up to 50 years in prison if convicted of the felony charge. Which seems odd to me since he (supposedly) owns the house. Reckless endangerment, maybe, but since when is it arson if you burn your own stuff?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


* Texas family finds scissors in store-bought cake *
ARLINGTON, Texas - A Texas woman said disaster was narrowly averted when a birthday party guest noticed a pair of scissors in the store-bought cake before her mother put her face into it. Yoly Nava of Arlington said her brother purchased the $59.99 cake from the El Rancho Market in Arlington for the weekend surprise party for their mother, and they were about to have the guest of honor dive face-first into the cake as part of a Latino tradition when a guest noticed the blades of the scissors sticking out from the dessert. "What if those scissors would have been pointed up and I would have hurt my mom? Trying to make something good, I would have hurt my mom," Nava told CBS Dallas/Fort Worth. Nava posted a video of the cake and its unexpected ingredient on Facebook. She said the store gave her a replacement cake, which she then discovered contained what appeared to be a human hair. A manager for the El Rancho Market's corporate office contacted the family to apologize. Nava said she doesn't want any compensation from the company, she only wants the store to make sure its employees are properly trained. "I think it's enough. Scissors to me, that could have been an eye or something," she said. Marcos Rubalcava, a spokesperson for the El Rancho chain, said the incident is under investigation. "We are in the process of investigating this incident," Rubalcava told the Arlington Voice newspaper. "No matter what the situation, our policy is if something was done incorrectly, we want to rectify the situation with the customer."


*-- English man refuses to be sentenced in Wales due to thick accents --*
SWANSEA, Wales - A convicted drug dealer from England refused to travel to Wales for his sentencing because he can't understand the local accent. Dwaine Campbell, 25, pleaded guilty to heroin possession with intent to supply after he was arrested in Aberystwyth, Wales, with 51 packages of heroin and he spent seven days in custody before being moved to a jail closer to his home in England's West Midlands. Janet Gedrych, Campbell's lawyer, said he missed his sentencing hearing Monday at Wales' Swansea Crown Court because he refused to leave his jail cell. Gedrych said Campbell did not want to return to Wales for his sentencing because he couldn't understand what people in Aberystwyth were saying due to their Welsh accents. "He is worried that if he is sentenced here he will end up in a jail in Wales and have the same difficulties," she told Wales Online. Judge Peter Heywood said Campbell's sentencing has been rescheduled for next month and he will conduct the hearing over a video connection "so he can stay in the West Midlands."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, is it possible this golf course pooper is a frustrated golfer and this is the only way he can get a hole-in-one?
[It is not inconceivable. I guess there are worse things you can do on a golf course...like golf.]

Lewis, did you see this story? "IT'S not everyday a man goes on the internet for help from strangers after he got his erect penis stuck in a roll of masking tape." Ya know, some people develop fetishes for this sorta thing... -LilyCat
[He went on the Internet for help? Like there aren't enough dicks on the Internet already.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News Archives

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS