Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I'm no prude. I enjoy having sex doggy style, but apparently in Ohio they take doggy style seriously. At least one man does.

A Shelby, Ohio man has been arrested for having sexual relations with his 3-year-old shepherd mix. According to officials, the man was charged with two counts of animal cruelty for having sexual relations with three dogs and possibly one horse.

Whatever happened to monogamy is what I want to know.

Investigators executed a search warrant at the apartment where they seized the 3-year-old dog and the man's computer. On the computer they found pictures and stories of his sexual relations with his animals.

They also found a bestiality book, "Dearest Pet," along with signs that read 'Pets Welcomed' and a plastic, blow-up sheep. I guess the advantage of that toy is that is never says, "Naaaay."

In an unusual sign of ingenuity police say the man advertised dog walking and sitting services around town.

Investigators said that they would like to bring more serious charges, but Ohio has no laws regarding bestiality.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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+-- Robber paid $1 for gum --+
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - Police in Florida said a robber paid $1 for a pack of gum when store clerks explained they couldn't open the register without a purchase. Fort Lauderdale police said the unidentified robber pointed a gun at an employee of the 1939 NW Ninth Ave. Family Dollar store June 1 and ordered a second clerk to open the register, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Monday.
However, the clerks explained they could not open the register unless a purchase was made, and the robber took $1 from his pocket and paid for a pack of gum, police said. Police said the man fled with the money from the register, including his $1. The incident was recorded by security cameras. Investigators said the same man entered the neighboring Caribbean Mizik at 11:50 a.m. the following day and took money from the register.

+-- Police: Woman stole police license plate --+
NEW YORK - New York police said a woman was arrested after stealing a license plate off a patrol car and shoving it down her pants. Police said Beryl Duncan, 53, took the plate from the marked 2009 Chevrolet Impala while it was parked near Prospect Park on a call about a disturbance about 1 a.m. Monday, the New York Post reported Tuesday. A witness described seeing Duncan shove the plate down her pants and police said she denied stealing the plate when confronted by an officer. Police said the woman told the officer the plate had fallen off the vehicle and she was holding it until she could return it to an officer. Duncan was arrested and charged with criminal possession of stolen property and petit larceny.

+-- READER COMMENTS --+
As to the comments about the President, I agree with both of you. I think he should be impeached, however, I would like to see him SOLVE a problem for a change instead of CREATING more problems. -Ed
[What? You think presiding over the largest increase in the federal deficit in history and the virtual devaluation of the U.S dollar are impeachable actions? No faith.]

Really? I'm getting so tired of hearing those blaming Obama for everything wrong with this country. How did he manage to do that in so short a time? How did he get the deficit up to trillions? How did he get us in "wars" even before he came into office? How did he use up Social Security without applying for it himself? All of the current issues existed before we even knew the name Obama, so get over it already! There are hundreds of other congressmen and representatives who have been there a lot longer and are a lot more responsible, not to mention previous presidents. No, let's don't mention them, please let's don't mention them! -GCR

Lewis; you have said you don't care where our President was born, but our Constitution says otherwise. -Stan
[The constitution says a lot of things which are ignored on a daily basis by the federal government. The president not providing a legitimate hard copy birth certificate is hardly the thing to get in a twist over.]

Hi Lewis: I am also one of your fans that has both your books! They have a place of honour in our reading cabinet that sits beside the toilet in our bathroom. Keep up the good work!! -Hugibear

"In" in front of a word usually means not. Inflammable would mean not flammable. I prefer flammable used when something will burst into flames at a drop of a hat. I don't know what the dictionary says these days and I'm too lazy to check. -catt napp
[I had a feeling I would get a comment like this...and I was not disappointed!]

Lewis, I have held my tongue for many of your reader's comments but this guy that has called the President of the United States of America communist should be shot as a traitor. Never in my life have I heard such disrespect for the office of president. If that reader thinks our president is communist then he has no worldly clue as to what communism is. He should resign his citizenship. I do believe in our first amendment rights, but come on. -Keith
[I certainly wouldn't blame Obama for turning the United States into a communist country. That process started a long time before him.]

+-- END OF READER COMMENTS --+
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