Saturday, June 25, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Okay. Say you have somehow embedded a fishhook in your ass and you're a little embarrassed about it. So you go hide in a closet. Maybe a little unusual, but that is exactly what happened to this particular Maryland man.

How the fish hook got in his buttocks the story does not specify, and the reasoning behind hiding in the closet we can only speculate on. But what happened next is the truly bizarre part, because we would not know about this story if the man had not begun firing his .45 caliber semi-automatic pistol.

Police responded to a noise complaint from neighbors. After knocking on the door of the man in question he eventually answered and admitted to the police that he had fired the gun hoping they would arrive and help him with his problem.

He was handcuffed and then transported to the Hospital.

Maybe he didn't have a telephone. Maybe he was too embarrassed to go to a neighbor and ask for help. But the most puzzling question still remains...how in the hell did he get a fish hook stuck in his ass?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis

Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER: MyBizarreNews

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored RIGHT HERE! Only $1.07!

+-- Mink coat hidden in panties for 3 days --+
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. - A Minnesota woman accused of concealing a stolen mink coat in her underwear for three days pleaded guilty to a theft charge. Bloomington police said Stephanie Moreland, 46, was arrested on a felony theft charge on New Year's Eve after employees at the Alaska Fur Company accused her of stealing the short mink coat, valued at $6,500, WCCO-TV, Minneapolis, reported Wednesday. A sales associate at the store took down Moreland's license plate number and police located the woman and her car a short time later, but the only sign of the coat was an empty hanger, police said. Moreland was booked into jail and she admitted three days later to having stolen the coat, but she claimed it had already been sold. However, when told she would be taken to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, Moreland lifted up her dress and revealed the coat had been shoved into her underwear. "She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front," Bloomington Police Cmdr. Mark Stehlik said. Moreland pleaded guilty to the theft charge Monday and is due to be sentenced Aug. 8.

+-- Man in port-a-potty tank eludes police --+
BOULDER, Colo. - Police in Colorado said a man spotted in the tank of a portable toilet at the Hanuman Yoga Festival escaped capture while "covered in feces." Boulder police said a woman who entered the portable toilet Friday suspected there was someone hiding under a tarp in the tank, which had been heavily used, and informed a security officer, The Denver Post reported Wednesday. The officer witnessed a man police said was shirtless, shoeless and "covered in feces" exit the portable toilet a short time later, but the suspect successfully fled on foot. The man, described as white and about 20 years old, was identified by some witnesses as a transient who calls himself Sky. Boulder police spokeswoman Kim Kobel said investigators do not know how the man, estimated to be between 6-foot-4 and 6-foot-8, managed to fit into the small tank. The man is being sought on a charge of criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact.

+-- READER COMMENTS --+
Lewis; You refered to President Obama "not providing a legitimate hard copy birth certificate". He did. Which is more that Donald Trump was able to do. And more than any of the current Republican candidates have done. -Mike
[He did? I hadn't read that. The only thing I saw was the electronic copy he posted on the Internet which detractors immediately began picking apart.]

I just want to say that I think people are being unfair to Obama. Remember, Bush had eight years to scrw everything up. You expect the new president to fix it all just like that? What about the health care reform? The government has been promising us that since before Reagan was in office, but Obama is the first president ever to actually do it! -Chris
[True, but no one knows if the reform will be a good thing or a bad thing. The administration say it will save so many billions of dollars while the CBO says it will COST so many billions of dollars. With a four or five year implementation schedule, who the hell knows?]

I'm glad I didn't eat breakfast this morning. The beastiality story was funny and sickening at the same time. Esp, the monogamy part. -Butch

I have had enough of this talk about Obama and his predecessors turning this country communist. You people have no idea what you are talking about! Take it from someone who knows. I DO. I was born and lived my first 20 years in a communist country in Eastern Europe. The USA has never been, is not now and never will be even close to becoming a communist country.
[You're right...the USA is not a communist country, but it is leaning more and more toward socialist every year. And how far is that from communism? We already have in place most of the planks of the Communist Manifesto. No rights of inheritance, centralization of credit in the hands of the State (we call it the Federal Reserve), centralization of communication and transportation, compulsory public education, a heavy graduated income tax. They're almost all there.]

+-- END OF READER COMMENTS --+
- Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News Archives

- Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do? Send comments and questions to: LEWIS