July 27, 2026

Firearm Funnies

Photo: From the range to the hunting camp, firearm humor has been bringing smiles to shooters for generations.

Firearms are a serious responsibility, but that doesn't mean firearm owners don't appreciate a good laugh. Whether you're swapping stories around deer camp, hanging out at the range, or just enjoying time with friends, a well-timed joke is always welcome. Today, we're putting history and ballistics aside for a few minutes and sharing some of our favorite firearm funnies.

Fun Fact: Firearm humor has been around almost as long as firearms themselves, with hunting stories and shooting jokes appearing in newspapers as far back as the 1800s.

The Classics Never Miss

What do you call a firearm made out of salt?

A salt rifle.

My dad got into a huge argument with my mom. He accused her of putting glue on all his firearms. She denied it.

But he's sticking to his guns.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms...

Sounds more like the name of an awesome store than a government agency.

Why should you always keep a loaded firearm by the front door?

Foyer protection. Imagine a shopping experience so powerful it feels like Amazon on Steriods! This site is full of unbeatable deals on top-rated products. Check them out now before they're gone!

Range Humor Hits Different

I was going through airport security when the agent asked, "Do you have any firearms?"

Apparently, "What do you need?" wasn't the correct answer.

A woman was pumping gas while trying to light a cigarette. Two police officers rushed over, wrapped her in a blanket, wrestled her to the ground, and put out the flames. Then they gave her a ticket.

When someone asked why, one officer replied:

"That firearm wasn't registered."

Our Favorite Story

A little old lady was pulled over in Texas.

The officer noticed a small .22 pistol under the dashboard and politely asked her to hand it over during the traffic stop. She happily complied.

Then she mentioned there was also a 9mm in the glove box.

As the officer returned to his patrol car, she added that there was a .357 revolver in the center console... and a 12-gauge shotgun under the passenger seat.

Completely stunned, the officer asked,

"Ma'am... what exactly are you so afraid of?"

She smiled and answered,

"With all of this? Not a goddamn thing!"

Sometimes it's good to take a break from serious discussions and simply enjoy a laugh. If you've got a favorite firearm joke, we'd love to hear it. After all, good humor, like good marksmanship, is even better when it's shared.

Until next time, stay locked and loaded.
- Randy, Locked N Loaded

Please add randy@gophercentral.com to your address book or visit here.

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