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February 13, 2024

International travel for our anniversary

So we went to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls for our honeymoon and it really was amazing.

Several times throughout the trip my wife said, "Don't you feel like we are on our honeymoon?"

"Not really," I said. This place is nothing like Indianapolis, Indiana."

So we had a wonderful time. We spent one day at Niagara on the Lake. It's a small town on Lake Ontario and I told my wife, "If it wasn't for all these Canadians I could live here."

But alas the long weekend drew to a close. As we pulled into our driveway I exclaimed, "Wow, would you look at that; our 15 year-old son actually brought in the garbage cans..."

More on that later.

A fellow walked up to me the other day and said, "Have you seen a cop around here anywhere?"

I said, "No, I haven't."

He said, "Great. Stick 'em up!"

"A new story came out that more and more babies are being named after Instagram filters. The good news about naming your daughter after an Instagram filter like Sierra, Willow, or Lux is that she won't have to change her name if she becomes a stripper." -James Corden

"Sesame Street announced that they have fired several of their long-time cast members. These layoffs were brought to you by the letters F and U." -Conan O'Brien

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.