December 04, 2023

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Did the see the latest health news? Researchers have recently said that eating red meat and processed meats isn't nearly as bad as everybody has been telling you for the last 50 years.

An international collaboration of researchers produced a series of analyses concluding that the advice, a bedrock of almost all dietary guidelines, is not backed by good scientific evidence. If there are health benefits from eating less beef and pork, they are small, the researchers concluded.

There has got to be a name for this rule. The rule that says whatever is bad for you today, someone will come out and tell you it is not bad for you tomorrow. They used to say it about salt. They used to say it about fat. They used to say it about dozens of things. Now it's red meat.

Of course, public health entities like the American Heart Association and the American Cancer Society are criticizing the research, calling it "flawed" and a threat to the credibility of nutrition science. To that I say, 'Yeah, duh.' I don't think eating a half pound of bacon for breakfast and an 18 ounce porterhouse for dinner every single day is a healthy diet, but to say that meat is bad for you when literally hundreds of animal (and plant!) species are carnivorous is just ridiculous.

Just think about all of the guilt those secret carnivores have been feeling while they were stuffing their faces with cheeseburgers all these years.

You know, I think I'll treat myself to a steak tonight. Bacon wrapped.

Email: joe@gopher-news.com

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