September 21, 2023

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Believe it or not there is still a whole day of summer left. The September - or autumnal - equinox is Saturday, which is the first day of fall, but it has certainly felt like fall already around here with the overnight temperatures getting down into the upper 50s. So the wife and I made the sad decision to drain the pool.

It wasn't much of a season. We didn't even have the pool up until the middle of July, and then we only had a couple pool parties, such as they were. With only 12 feet of wading room it's not like we were playing pool volleyball.

Still, it's just another reminder that the golden days of summer are over.

Any much like me, the the pool does not seem to want to give up on the season. I have been using the garden hose as a syphon for the last three days and the pool is still about half full.

But be drained it must, because the wife and I made the mistake of inviting the usual suspects over to the house for an Oktoberfest party next weekend and the pool is sitting on 120 square feet of prime drinking space.

If it's not drained by tonight I'm going to have to get in there with a bucket and a mop.

Email: joe@gopher-news.com

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"Police in Florida are searching for someone who stole 360,000 nickels during a house party. Police believe the suspect is almost to the end of the street." -Seth Meyers



Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.

Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it.

So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.



"A man set a new world record after kicking himself in the head 134 times in one minute. He broke the previous record of zero." -Conan O'Brien



Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck hunting? They bought new outfits and equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good. But after several hours of thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this. We've been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do you think we're doing something wrong?"

"I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough."



"A recent study shows that standing at work for long periods of time is bad for you, after earlier research indicated that sitting for too long at work is bad for you. So really the only thing we know is, work is bad for you." -Jimmy Fallon