March 26, 2023

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Last weekend my wife dragged me to an Irish bar to celebrate St. Patrick's Day day with some of her girlfriends. While we were sitting there drinking watery green beer and eating "Irish nachos" (do not try if you ever come across them) the subject came up of which is better; St. Patrick's Day or Oktoberfest.

Excluding St. Patrick's Day's religious roots, they are both essentially holidays devoted to drinking - so which is better?

First and foremost; let's look at the...

Beer.

For St. Patrick's Day you have Guinness, of course, a decent beer. Harp, another good beer (but one that uses a German recipe, by the way). And then there's whatever domestic swill the bar wants to dye green and sell for $4 a pint. After that there are not a lot of drinkers who are asking for a Murphy's Stout or a Smithwick's.

For Oktoberfest you have... deep breath; Paulaner, Hacker-Pschorr, Spaten, Augustiner, Lowenbrau, Weihenstephaner, Radeberger, Bitburger, Krombacher, Ayinger, Becks, and of course, Hofbrau, not to mention all of the Marzen bier and festbier variations. Then come the hundred and one American imitations of Oktoberfest beer.

Advantage: Oktoberfest.

Hard liquor.

St. Patrick's Day; Jameson, Tullamore Dew, Bushmills, Baileys, Irish Mist.

Oktoberfest; Jagermeister, Feigling.

Advantage: St. Patrick's Day.

Food.

St. Patrick's Day; Corned Beef and Cabbage, Soda Bread, "Irish nachos".

Oktoberfest; Wiesn Hendl (spit-roasted chicken), Schweinshaxe (roasted ham hock), Sauerbraten (beef roast in a sweet and sour gravy), Bratwurst (simmered in beer), Wiener schnitzel (breaded, pan-fried veal, pork or chicken cutlet), Kartoffelsalat (potato salad), Kartoffelpuffer (crispy potato pancakes usually served with sour cream and smoked salmon) and Brezeln (giant, salted, soft pretzels).

Advantage: Oktoberfest.

Music.

St. Patrick's Day; Molly Malone, Danny Boy, Drunken Lullabies, and usually anything by U2.

Oktoberfest; Too many to name. Just imagine a 4-piece 'oompah' band in lederhosen and Alpine hats and you will instinctively begin grasping for a bier stein.

Advantage: Oktoberfest.

Duration.

St. Patrick's Day; 1 day.

Oktoberfest; 2 weeks.

Advantage: Oktoberfest.

Taken objectively Oktoberfest is the clear winner. Not that St. Patrick's Day isn't fun, but for a serious partier there is only one highlight of the year and it doesn't revolve around a fifth-century Romano-British priest.

Email: joe@gopher-news.com

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