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November 24, 2022

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The last few years our Thanksgivings have been getting smaller and smaller with the kids out of the house. I've been getting to enjoy the quiet and intimacy. But this year my wife came up with an idea, "Wouldn't it be fun to host a big family Thanksgiving this year?" She said

I said, "If we host my family, then maybe. If we host your family, then no. If we host both, then fuck no."

That was two weeks ago and Tugboat TZ hasn't pulled into Tuna-town since.

No pussy before hosting a big holiday is not a good thing for a man. He starts to get goofy ideas like, 'I wonder if my mother-in-law ever had a thumb up her ass?' or 'My recently divorced cousin is giving me the eye--what is the exact definition of incest and how big a sin is it?'

So ladies, don't do your man ugly during the holidays. Treat him nice so that the only thing he's thinking about is that goofy look on your face when you get off.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Celebratingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gopher-news.com

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Bright Ideas All on this Page


A man walks up to a woman at the bar and decides he's going to charm her with a clever pickup line. So he says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long."

The woman tells him, "I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you will never get it."



As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of twenty and fifty dollar bills. He asks his wife, "What's up with all the bills?"

To his wife which replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."



So my wife recently got a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. It's really pretty, and functional too. When I put my ear to it I can smell the ocean.



Eddie, wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office...but she was dating someone and wouldn't give him the time of day.

Finally Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I know you're not interested in a relationship with me, but I'll give you $100 if you just let me have sex with you."

The girl responded with an immediate and offended, "NO!"

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up. I promise!"

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.

So she called him and explained the situation. Her boyfriend said, "He must be crazy! Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down and we'll be 200 bucks richer."

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

20 minutes goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after a half hour the boyfriend calls and asks, "Well...what happened???"

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"