September 21, 2022

Good morning crew,

I did it again. I'm seriously beginning to realize how a person can waste their lives away and accomplish nothing. 2 years ago I had the idea to build a creepy little mausoleum to go in the 'graveyard' I create on my front lawn every Halloween.

But all last year I let the weekends trickle by without doing it and now this summer is over and I still haven't done it.

All I need is 6 sheets of 1/4" plywood, 50 or 60 feet of 1 x 2" strip board, a couple dozen corner brackets, a box of polymer-coated wood screws and a little paint. A child could do it. But in the last 6 months I have not been able to dedicate one single day to getting the project done.

At this point I really only have one weekend left, because I want to start building the graveyard by October 1st (if it's not up for at least a month it's hardly worth it). The problem is the wife has another Oktoberfest she wants to go to this weekend.

What to do... drink beer and eat bratwursts all Saturday, or spend 2 or 3 hundred bucks on materials and put in 10 hours of manual labor?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gopher-news.com

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"Coca-Cola might be working on a drink that's infused with weed. They're still going to put your name on the side of the can. 'Cause it's the only way you'll remember it." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A developer in New York wants to build an IHOP on top of a Revolutionary War cemetery. IHOP's CEO said, 'It makes sense, we've killed more Americans than the British ever did.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

I came home one night and my wife was crying.
I said, "what's wrong?"
She said, "I'm home sick."
I said, "But, this IS your home."
"I know," she replied, "and I'm sick of it!"