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May 22, 2022

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The problem with writing a weekly dirty joke list is that eventually all you can remember are dirty jokes. That's a problem when you're in mixed company or around kids.

But there is a special category of jokes that allude to dirty material without actually using it. One of my favorite such jokes is...

"Dad, why did you name my sister Teresa?"

"Because your mom loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks Dad."

"No problem, Alan."

You could tell that joke around a 6 or 7-year-old with no worries. Unfortunately it goes over the heads of some adults too. I told it to my wife the other night and I swear to God she got out a pen and paper and started working out anagrams. It took her about 2 minutes before she finally put down her pen, looked at me and said, "That's stupid."



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"IT'S A BOY," I shouted. "A BOY! I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY!" And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai brothel.

A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer. "Our next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious."

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?" the cashier asks.

"No," the guy says, "she's not that ugly."

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was immediately attracted to him. During her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex?

"Tarzan not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and got down on the ground. "Here," she said, pointing to her privates, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her, and kicked her in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?"

Tarzan replied, "Check for squirrel."