January 21, 2022

Good morning crew,

This is why the kids at the taekwondo school hate me. Last night I was warming up class and I asked the first little kid in line, "How many pushups do you want to do?"

He thought about it for a second, probably trying to think of a number I wouldn't increase, and finally said, "20."

So I asked the next kid, "And how many pushups do you want to do?"

He said, "20 sounds good." And so did the next kid.

The fourth kid must have been feeling motivated because he said 30.

At that point I said, "Ok, 20, 20, 20 and 30 is 90," then I pointed to the fifth kid and said, "How many do YOU want to do?"

He responded by wailing, "Oh no! He's adding them up."

I said, "Come on, come on, how many do you want to do?"

He said, "Zero."

So I said, "Ok, 20."

By the time I got through polling all the students I had totalled 150. Don't worry. I didn't make them do all 150 pushups at once. We did sets of 25. It only took about 10 minutes.

Hey, I haven't been inside a gym since the pandemic started. Taekwondo class is the only chance I have to work out. Those kids just have to learn to keep up with me.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"During a political protest on Capitol Hill today, 82 rabbis were arrested. It's the first time D.C. police have dispersed a crowd by spraying them with bacon." -Conan O'Brien

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So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:

There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

I had noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother.

"Things haven't changed that much," she said. "The only difference is, before he didn't listen to me. Now, he can't."