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January 13, 2022

Greetings Laff Lovers,

My brothers and their sons came over for lunch this weekend. We got to talking about something and it was clear my nephew was lying.

"I call bullshit," I said.

"I don't lie."

"You don't lie?" I said incredulously. Then I borrowed a line from Christopher Walken in that excellent movie, True Romance, "'You're the world heavyweight champion of liars!'"

He dug in and said, "I haven't told a lie since I was 12."

"Stop digging boy!" I said. "You've been full of shit since you learned to talk. And everyone lies. I've lied four times today."

My son chimed in and said, "Yeah and he's been alone all day!"

Self deceivingly,


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A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as Jesus, you might be able to convince her to have sex with you."

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best Jesus costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

"Oh, Jesus!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her devotion. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex.

After it's over, the man pulls off his disguise. "Ha, ha!" he says, "I'm the man from the bus!"

"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume, "I'm the bus driver!"