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November 24, 2021

Good morning crew,

Uh oh. We bought a 20 pound frozen turkey Sunday afternoon and immediately put it in the refrigerator. Three days later and it's still hard as marble. When I came downstairs this morning I found the wife with her head in the fridge rapping on the bird with her knuckles.

"I think we have a problem," she said.

The wife has 10 of her family members coming over tomorrow afternoon. If all we have to serve them are turkey popsicles; we definitely will have a problem. But I've learned a few tricks over the years. There is the old soak it in ice water for 10 hours trick. We still have time to try that. If that doesn't work there is always the old spend $60 on a fresh turkey at the last minute trick.

And if THAT doesn't work, there is always the old fake a case of food poisoning and tell everyone to stay home trick.

That's the one I'm leaning toward right now.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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A young college girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

"Ah! So sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."