September 17, 2021
Good morning crew,
It looks like I'm in for one more party this summer - ok - two more, technically. I found out earlier this week that my dear mother and sister are in town this weekend, passing through on their way to the new house they just bought in Branson, Missouri.
And since none of the local family (other than me) has seen either of them in at least a year I felt it incumbent upon me to organize a little get together. So I'm leaving the office a little early today to go buy ten pounds of chicken and hamburgers and a couple cases of beer for all of the relatives who will be descending on my house like a swarm of locusts in about 5 hours.
Then tomorrow is the big Glendale Heights Oktoberfest. The wife and I started going to this one about six years ago (
you can read about our first experience here) and we've been back almost every year since. It's not the biggest party out there, but they serve Munchener bier and the food is authentic.
And since I doubt my octogenarian mother is going to want to stay up very late tonight pounding beers, I should have the stamina to put in a good showing tomorrow.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"Year, (noun) A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments." --Ambrose Bierce's DEVIL'S DICTIONARY
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"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." --Mark Twain
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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later." -Mitch Hedberg
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The boss joined a group of his workers in the company break room and told a joke he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Dewey.
When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Dewey, the boss said, "What's the matter, Dewey? No sense of humor?"
"My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow."
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice.
He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
"Put two drops in R ear every four hours."
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