September 16, 2021

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Here's some interesting news; the Tri-County Health Department in Colorado has charged teachers with enforcing a mask mandate on the children they teach. Not only that, but the teachers can be criminally liable if they don't!

Tri-County Health says if educators don't enforce the mandate, it's a class 1 misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in prison and $5,000 fine.

My question is; how is anybody going to enforce any of this? When I was in school I hardly did anything any teacher told me (it's really a wonder I graduated), and discipline these days is a joke compared to what it was 40 years ago.

If I were a teacher the first thing I would ask upon hearing this news is; am I now allowed to physically assault the students? Can I kneel on their chests and duct tape a mask on their face if they refuse to comply? Can I yank them out of their seats and force them out the door when they refuse? Because I am not going to pay a $5,000 fine because some recalcitrant, thick-skulled, little 10-year-old keeps taking his or her mask off in class.

And how are teachers going to be monitored? Will there be cameras in every classroom? Will there be a resouce officer wandering in and out of classrooms with a ticketbook in hand?

It seems to me like this is the perfect excuse for a lot of teachers to find a new profession. Something with a little more dignity. Like stripping maybe.

It's similar to what they tried to do in New York; making resturant and bar owners require proof of vaccination from their customers. It's impossible to enforce. If you are a bar owner are you really going to turn away 40 percent of your business because they can't or won't produce a vaccination card?

Every day things get more and more ridiculous. It'll be interesting to see how far the American public will let themselves get bullied.

Curiously,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


You May Need Some More Masks... These Are FDA Registered & 3-Layers Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

The trouble with finding your perfect soul mate is that she would probably want to get married, then four weeks after the wedding you would meet another perfect soul mate, with bigger tits.



An older couple decided to get married.

She said: I want to keep my house.
He said: That's fine with me.
She said: I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That's fine with me.
She said: I want to have sex 6 times a week.
He said: Put me down for Fridays.



Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.



A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"

The man answered, "Not that well. When I fired the pistol, my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my dick, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."