July 21, 2021
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Kenzo Roberts did not, I repeat; not want to be identified when he was pulled over by police while driving a stolen Mercedes in Florida.
After detectives from the Lee County Sheriff's Office pulled over the 20-year-old, they found Roberts using a fake identification. He was also in possession of a concealed firearm and he had 3 fraudulent credit cards.
He was placed in a patrol car, but his hands were not secured, giving him the opportunity to try and chew his own fingertips off.
Surveillance video from the police car shows Roberts rubbing his finger in the cage before eating pieces of his skin in an effort to remove his fingerprints.
However, his efforts were unsuccessful. The Lee County Sheriff's Office learned that Roberts has two felony warrants for his arrest for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
And yes, the story is real. Please trust me when I tell you not to look for the video online.
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Man takes drunken drive onto active runway
A 23-year-old man is accused of driving his sportscar through a fence and onto an active runway in New Orleans before being arrested for drunk driving, law enforcement said. Police say the man drove a blue Dodge Challenger through a fence at about noon local time, drove across a runway at Louis Armstrong International Airport and plowed through another fence. Officials said the suspect, Kaleb Clement, was later captured hiding behind an air conditioning unit at a nearby auto shop after leading police on a brief chase. No one was hurt in the incident, but investigators said Clement had been driving under the influence. Clement was arrested and booked on suspicion of DUI and hit-and-run. Although the driver got onto an active runway, officials at the airport said no flights were disrupted. The New Orleans Advocate reported Clement has marijuana-related probation violations on his record and a domestic battery charge that was ultimately dropped.
Drunk On Duty
Polk County police said that they have arrested 46-year-old Georgia Deputy Noel Smith, after she allegedly entered the home of Carol Carr while drunk. Smith said that she believed it was her home. After hearing her girls screaming, Carr came running and found the Smith inside her son's room. Smith was getting ready to jump into the boy's bed and went through the drawer, trying to find something to wear. Smith put on the boy's shirt. When she was told to leave, Smith claimed it was her house. Police officers who arrived at the scene, threatened Smith with a Taser. Smith appeared to be drunk and she had urinated on herself. Smith has been charged with public intoxication, trespassing and assault.