July 26, 2021
Good Morning Groanies,
I hurt my finger trying to snag some cheese out of a mousetrap, so I'll be brief.
I have humorous jokes and whatnot for your giggling pleasure so please enjoy... and laugh at your discretion.
"Can you believe July is almost over already?" said my calendar that I had to send thru the paper shredder because calendars are NOT supposed to talk to you!
Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve
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*-- Did He Get Anything? --*
"Get this." said one drinker to his friends at the bar, "Last night while I was here with you guys, a burglar broke into my house."
"Did he get anything?" his friends asked.
"Yeah, a broken jaw, two teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."
*-- Calf Crash --*
A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player?
A: She had a pumpkin for a coach!
Q: What do you call a person who takes care of lemons?
A: A lemon aide.
Q: What do you call two birds in love?