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June 23, 2021

Good morning crew,

A few of the denizens of our cubicle farm here at the office were arguing about what the perfect breakfast is.

A popular choice was eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast. Hard to go wrong with that. Another one that came up a couple times was eggs benedict. Somebody said biscuits and gravy and another person offered fried chicken and waffles - which technically is more of a brunch item.

One communist said oatmeal.

But for me the quintessential breakfast was illustrated in the 1958 movie 'The Big Country' starring Gregory Peck, Jean Simmons, Charles Bickford, and a handful of other super stars from the golden age of Hollywood.

The morning after McKay (played by Peck) arrives at Ladder Ranch he sits down to breakfast with the Major and they are each served a flame-broiled, 18 ounce porterhouse steak with a single fried egg on top, garnished with a little parsley.

Now, that's how you start your day.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"There is a new version of the Bible that has updated language that's coming out. For example, it refers to Jesus' disciples as 'wingmen.'" -Conan O'Brien

***

"A French fashion label is now offering a pair of $570 jeans that come without a butt. There's nothing in the butt. I have got to tell you, these jeans are a great way of telling your friends and coworkers that your father never paid enough attention to you." -James Corden

***

"A new study found that many popular oregano brands are really olive leaves and other leaves falsely labeled as oregano. Or as high school stoners put it, 'Wait, this still isn't marijuana?'" -Jimmy Fallon

***

Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment.

One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?"

"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help.

"The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'"

"Monogamy," he answered.