June 20, 2021

Greetings Laff Lovers,

It's Father's Day, and on today of all days, I can't help but think about my old man and the things he used to say to me...

Like, "If you end up gay I'll break your legs."

Or, "An indictment is not a conviction."

But the one thing that really stuck with me was, "Remember boy, one night stands maybe over in the morning but herpes lasts a lifetime."

Paternally,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Q. What is the definition of Blood, Sweat and Tears?

A. A blonde on her period standing in front of a tampon machine with a bent quarter.



McDonald's Dogged Over Breastfeeding Law Suit

Breastfeeding is a natural, beautiful thing. It used to be frowned upon in certain public places, but these days there is virtually nowhere where a woman is not welcomed to engage in this wholesome, nurturing activity. So it was a bit of a surprise when a woman in Newark, NJ was asked by a manager to leave a McDonald's for breastfeeding. Of course, she is suing the establishment for violating her rights, but the manager claims it's not the fact that she was breastfeeding, but WHAT she was breastfeeding.

Read the rest of the story by clicking here.



I was in a pub last Saturday night, and after drinking a few I noticed two very robust-looking women at the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them snapped back, saying, "It's Wales, you idiot!"

I immediately apologized. "I'm sorry," I said, "are you two whales from Ireland?"



A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1,000 an inch."

The man perks up.

"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over twenty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes," says the man.

"So what is it going to be?" asks the doctor.

The man says, "We're getting new granite counter tops."