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January 13, 2021

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Different areas are dealing with the pandemic in different ways. In Los Angeles they're havng "super-spreader" parties, while in Quebec they have an 8 p.m. curfew for all residents. But for every rule there is an exception, and the exception for the curfew rule is that you can be out and about if you have to walk your dog. One couple took a metaphorical approach to this exception, a metaphor the police did not appreciate.

A Quebec husband and wife were handed sizeable fines for violating curfew, despite the wife's protests that she was walking her dog and the fact the husband was wearing a leash.

The woman and her husband were each given $1,500 fines by Sherbrooke police for violating curfew. The pair was caught walking at 9 p.m. on Saturday evening.

Police said the two were walking towards downtown and did not cooperate with the officers. When questioned by police, the couple claimed they were following the rules.

Quebec officials have said people may walk their dogs after the 8 p.m. curfew, provided they stay within one kilometre of their house.

Over the first weekend under curfew, police officers across Quebec handed out 750 tickets worth thousands of dollars in fines to people caught out after 8 p.m.


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And you think YOU have bad neighbors

Video on social media showed a military tank driving around a Florida neighborhood last week, but a spokesperson with the Florida National Guard said the tank was not part of its fleet. The matter was cleared up by Miami-Dade Police, which issued a statement that read: "Miami-Dade Police Department received reports of a military-style vehicle observed on the Village roads. They looked into the matter and confirmed that the vehicle belongs to a private collector of decommissioned, surplus military items. The vehicle in question is demilitarized and unarmed. It was purchased as a collector item and was being delivered to the owner at the time that the video circulating social media was taken." Neighbors were openly unhappy about the military relic in their close quarters. "It's a poor choice of timing to have military equipment like that in a residential neighborhood," resident James Woodard said. "Obviously they have more money than sense."

Be Careful What You Ask For

If you give a woman a taser and ask her to use it on you, don't be surprised when she tasers you! A Utah man is accused of assaulting a woman he allegedly asked to use a taser on him when he had panic attacks, police reported. Ashten Lawrence, 20, was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail on charges of assault aggravated assault according to a probable cause affidavit. During an argument Lawrence began to have a panic attack. A woman told police that Lawrence had got her a taser for Christmas and "told her to use it on him if he ever went into a panic attack because he would become violent during said panic attacks," the affidavit states. The woman said she feared for her safety and used the taser on the back of Lawrence's neck. The affidavit states Lawrence became angry and allegedly hit her multiple times.


I would think no pants shouldn't be a problem as long as they wear their masks. -Scott A.
[Aren't pants just a mask for your butt?]

So Denmark has a kid's show about a man with a giant, prehensile penis? Ok, but what about equity? I want to see a show about a woman with a vagina that can make balloon animals.