November 27, 2020

Good morning crew,

Like much of the rest of America I'm home today. If everything goes according to plan I will not have to step foot out of the house or even put on pants until Sunday afternoon at the earliest.

With all of this pandemic business still going on I am curious what Black Friday is going to be like this year. Politicians, bureaucrats and talking heads were trying to keep people from having more than six guests over for Thanksgiving yesterday. I wonder what the policy is on having mobs of hung over, angry shoppers all fighting eyeball-to-eyeball over 25 percent off electronics.

But I'm not curious enough to go out there and find out. I would pay 25 percent more not to have to fight a hungover, angry mob.

No, I think I'll just watch all about it on TV while I'm having my Irish coffee this morning.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"I'm writing a book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: 'I heard from this guy who told somebody...'" -Demetri Martin

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A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

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"When we got married we registered at Bloomingdale's because you can return everything for cash. And I figure each place setting can keep me in beer money for about a month." --Gary Barkin

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I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.

"How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman.

"A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story.

We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?"

My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor."