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August 05, 2020

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A Pennsylvania man is in jail on felony charges after police say a woman found him in her home with her fedora in one hand and a sports drink from the refrigerator in the other.

According to Altoona police, Adam Zirtsch, 27, allegedly walked into the house, took a Powerade from the refrigerator and drank some of it before he walked to an upstairs bedroom and took the hat.

Police were called to the home about 4:30 p.m. after the woman found Zirtsch in a second-story bedroom, holding her fedora. She said she was getting ready for work in another bedroom when she heard an unknown voice.

When she walked into the other bedroom, Zirtsch was standing, holding her fedora and the sports drink. He then asked if he could have the hat, and when she told him he couldn't and that he needed to leave, Zirtsch allegedly started to explain that he was drunk, and then he fell over.

After a couple minutes, the woman grabbed Zirtsch and pushed him out of the house and in the process, collected the hat and Powerade drink from him, police said.

Police found Zirtsch walking down the block and indicated that he was unintelligible when he spoke and had a hard time answering questions.


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I'd rather have a check signed by Mickey Mouse than some person I don't know. How do we know any signature is from a real person anyway?