June 07, 2020

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I met Clean Laffs Joe out in the hall on his way into the office, and being the gentleman I am I held the door open for him.

"Thanks," he said.

"Anything I can do to help," I answered offhand.

"Oh yeah? Anything?" he came back.

"Well, anything but a cash loan or a handjob," I qualified. Then thinking about it for a second I added, "Or pretty much anything sexually related. And I probably wouldn't let you borrow my car. I don't want you anywhere near my house or my family.

"I don't want to hear your problems, and don't ask me for advice.

"I won't cover for you when you're out of the office.

"I won't lie to your wife when you're out blowin' some random guy.

"And I won't let you win at darts just to make you feel like a man."

"So not exactly 'anything'," Joe said.

"Anything door related," I concluded.

Qualifyingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

"Doctors are now warning about the spread of something they are calling 'super gonorrhea.' It's hard to believe that now the cool thing to say to a woman in a bar is, 'It's OK, I only have regular gonorrhea.'" -Conan O'Brien



Two guys are drinking at a bar. The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something, and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?"

The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets, and the chick behind the counter had these huge tits, and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I asked for 'two pickets to Titsburgh'."

The First guy says, "Yeah, well I was having breakfast with my wife last week, and instead of saying 'Honey can you please pass me the sugar?', I said 'You've ruined my life you FUCKING BITCH.'"



"It is Fleet Week here in New York City, and our entire audience is filled with servicemen and women. This year is actually New York's 30th Fleet Week. So I want to wish an early happy 30th birthday to all those babies conceived during the first Fleet Week." -Jimmy Fallon



A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his homosexuality from his parents, goes over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he lets out a big sigh and says, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."

His mother made no reply, and the guy was about to repeat it, when she turned to him and said calmly, "You're gay? Doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"

Nervously, the guy said, "Uh, yeah, Mom, well I guess so."

His mother went back to stirring the pot. Suddenly, she whirled around and whacked him over the head with her spoon, saying, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"