June 08, 2020

Good Morning Groanies,

Okay...what's next?! Well, if you currently reside in my neighborhood, that answer would be - Cicadas!

Holy Toledo! These winged menaces are everywhere. In the trees, on the porch, the driveway, the deck, the yard, the sidewalk, me - they are EVERYWHERE!

Oh, then these two chipmunks showed up and started digging up my yard and eating all the flowers. They may look cute, but they are a huge pain in the ass!

And if that wasn't bad enough, I saw a black and red snake when I was cutting the grass the other day.

And how could I have forgotten about the stray cat "MEOWING" like a maniac, licking itself, and rubbing its dirty cat ass on my front porch. Hey, I don't come over to your place and go to town on myself and make a racket, do I?! Damn nasty cat!

It's like freaking Wild Kingdom over at my house!

Groaningly yours,
Steve AKA Marlin Perkins

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

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*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How do you catch a rabbit?

A: Hide in a bush and make a noise like a Carrot.


Q: Why did the leper baseball pitcher retire?

A: He threw his arm out.


Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A: A Roaming Catholic.

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What is hairy and coughs?

A: A coconut with a cold.


Q: Why did the cowboy ride his horse?

A: Because it was too heavy to carry.


Q: Why did the three little pigs leave home?

A: Their father was an awful boar.

*-- Even More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did the curtain say to the wall?

A: I'm tired of hanging around all day.


Q: Why was the sick man arrested in his car?

A: For Driving Under the Influenza.


Q: What did one skunk say to the other skunk when they were cornered?

A: "Let us spray."