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May 27, 2020

Good Morning Groanies,

The boys are done with school on Friday; only they don't know it. So I asked them if they wanted to hear some good news and some bad news. Of course, the wanted the good news first.

I told them that Friday was their last day of class for the 2019-2020 school year. They hooted and hollered and cheered like they won the lottery but couldn't collect because they're minors.

Then they asked for the bad news. As much as I didn't want to I had to break it to them. "Boys," I said, "this is gonna be tough to hear but... Summer School starts on Monday!" Ain't I a stinker?

Maybe I can get Mark Harmon to Zoom in for that?

Groaningly yours,

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

*-- "Husband Wanted" --*

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

*-- Funny Book Titles and Authors --*

"Home Maintenance" Duane Pipe

"Growing up in the Balkans" Hugo Slavia

"Irish Winter Tales" Pete Moss

"Increase Your Brain Power" Sarah Bellum

"Looking Into the Wishing Well" Eileen Dover

"How to Write a Mystery Novel" Page Turner

"I Got Away With Murder" Scott Free

"Winning Big" Jack Potts

"Vacation Spot in the Tropics" Sandy Beech

"I Always Enjoy the Darkness" Gladys Knight

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Sale 99centQ: Why did the computer need a jacket?

A: Because it kept freezing.

Q: Why did the elephants at the circus go on strike?

A: They were tired of working for peanuts.

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.