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May 23, 2020

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here is a story that has everything; sex, violence, infidelity, and a surprise twist. Unfortunately, it has a rather tragic end. It all started when Alan Bischof, in his 70s at the time, met and started a relationship four years ago. The problem was was that Bischof was married for over 30 years, but there was something his lover could give him that his wife couldn't - kinky sex. But that was just the start of the secrets.

82-year-old Alan Bischof of Texas was arrested for felony aggravated assault over the death of lover Craig LaMell, 65, who died almost a month after claiming he had been jumped by several strangers near his home in Houston.

In emails and documents, Bischof - who has been married 35 years - went into great detail about his secret "sexual relationship," according to the court papers and his lawyer. He wrote about how "they engaged in sadomasochistic behavior" - and that "LaMell had requested Bischof to assault him," according to the court records.

The pair agreed on the "mutual plan" of claiming it was a mugging - yet LaMell also gave conflicting excuses to friends, even claiming he was battered by the jealous husband of a woman he was seeing.

Bischof's confessionals only came to light five months after his lover's death when his former manager found them on his work computer after he retired. It included a document titled "Confession" in which Bischof said he planned to kill himself over the accidental death of his lover, the court docs say.

Bischof was charged with aggravated assault of a family member because of their relationship.


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Nurse wears bra and panties under see-through gown

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6-year-old finds stolen safe

A 6-year-old South Carolina boy helped solve a neighbor's mystery when he went magnet fishing in a lake and reeled in a safe that was stolen eight years earlier. Knox Brewer, 6, took up magnet fishing after watching a video about the practice. Knox said he was magnet fishing on Whitney Lake on Mother's Day when his magnet attached to something heavy. A nearby stranger helped him pull his line back up to land and they discovered it was a metal safe. The safe contained items including jewelry, a notebook and a checkbook. The Brewers contacted police and soon discovered the safe had been stolen from a neighbor's home eight years earlier. "She got some missing charm bracelet pieces that were still left in there," Catherine Brewer said. "She said all the expensive stuff was gone, but at least she got closure and some of her pieces back."


Hey Lewis, Enjoy your column. The Florida lady who bared more than her arms. the police arrested her for "exposure of sexual organs". A woman's breasts are not in the true sense 'sexual organs', they're mammary glands.

Just goes to show how boring soccer is if the people watching on TV were more interested in the "faux" fans than the actual game.

After you lasso a tiger, you see if he hollars. If so, you must let him go.

Breasts are sexual organs? Better wear a burka, don't be showing mouths, or hands, or armpits, or knees, or...