May 22, 2020
Good morning crew,
This is it, folks, Memorial Day weekend. The unofficial start of summer. Unfortunately, rain is forecast for practically the entire 3 days in my area, so I'm not sure how much grilling I'm going to be able to squeeze in, but who knows? I might get lucky.
I hope you all enjoy your weekend!
Laugh it up,
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
KN95 Masks In Stock And Shipping Now!
FDA Approved With 5 Layers of Protection.
"One of the world's top Donkey Kong players has been stripped of his records for cheating. He was going to be sentenced to life, but turns out he doesn't have one." -Conan O'Brien
"A 70-year-old woman in India recently gave birth to a baby boy. The baby and his mother are doing fine. The doctor, however, is still recovering." -Seth Meyers
"Google has created several new emojis aimed at empowering women. So congratulations women, you asked for equal pay and you got five new emojis." -Conan O'Brien
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?"
John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."
George: "So what are you looking for?"
John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got to have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn't hurt either."
George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"
John: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy."
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. The people who produce the bottles. The truck drivers who deliver the beer and the retailers who sell it.
If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."