April 06, 2020

Good Morning Groanies,

With six rolls of toilet paper left I have begun to brainstorm what to do when the rolls run out.

I guess I could try and get some at the store, but that's a heck of a gamble.

Ordering some online could come with a hefty price-tag. (It'd probably be more conducive to wipe my butt with the money that I would have spent on it.)

I could start using newspaper, book pages, posters, wall art, etc.

Or I'm gonna begin to go in the yard like a dog. But, to be much more classy, I'll dig a hole or a trench first. I think we found our winner!

Stay classy, and healthy, my friends!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

Trouble Finding Hand Sanitizer? No Worries WE HAVE IT IN STOCK!

*-- I'm A Sports Car --*

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Trans Am.

Another night I dreamed I was an Lamborghini. Last night I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"

"Relax," says the shrink, "You're just having an auto-body experience."

*-- Now That's Really Sick --*

An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: "I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick."

On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: "Well, just how sick are you?"

"Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How is a drama teacher like an obsolete form of public transportation?

A: They are both stage coaches.


Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

A: Erotic is using a feather... kinky is using the whole chicken!


Q: How do you make a bandstand?

A: Take away their chairs.